First Time ? Chapter 3

First Time ? Chapter 3First Time ? Chapter 3The first time you ever really tell Spencer about you and Sam you're nervous and guilty and so scared that you just blurt it out in a jumbled, run on mess. You tell him because you and Spencer don't hide things from each other."What?" Spencer asks not turning away from the giant tuba he's sculpting out of Swiss cheese.You take a deep slow breath and fight the urge to just run away or dig a hole in the middle of the living room to fall through and disappear. Instead you take a step closer to Spencer."Sam is the person I like. She is my girlfriend." you whisper, careful to keep each word separate.Spencer turns around carefully and from the look on his face you can't help but think that you're slower, more enunciated confession isn't much more help than the first."Sam is your girlfriend?" Spencer asks and you nod once and try to blink away the tears burning in the corners of your eyes already. "Do you mean like your 'girlfriend'?" And Spencer says 'Girlfriend' in a high pitched valley girl voice and you shake your head once."She and I?" You begin but trail off to wipe angrily at the tears escaping your eyes and you don't know why you're crying but all of a sudden you are and then Spencer is pulling you into his chest and he smells like cheese and fabric softener.You tell him everything and you apologize for not telling him earlier and for feeling this way and it?s like every fear you have comes pouring out of you and he just shushes you and tells you how much he loves you, how much your fam!ly loves you, no matter what.It feels like forever later when you?re sitting on the couch with your knees pulled to your chest and your head tucked under Spencer's chin, his arm heavy around your shoulder."You could've done worse." Spencer says and it?s hard to hear over the cottony buzz in your ears from crying but you lick at your chapped lips and smile."Yeah?""Yeah, sure. I mean except for the procrastination, blatant disrespect for authority, v!olence, petty theft and abuse Sam is a good k!d." and Spencer is so sincere that you can't help but laugh."I'm sorry." you sigh and Spencer shakes his head and presses his lips to your hair."Don't be, k!ddo. Everything's going to be fine, nothing?s going to change. Well, maybe, Sam can't stay spend the night anymore." Spencer whispers and you nod and shut your eyes.Later, when Spencer tells your parents, it goes surprisingly well and they talk to you over the phone as you cry and they tell you they love you and that everything is okay and you can't remember a time when you wished they were home more than this one.You tell your grandfather and he doesn't take it half as well.He comes up to visit on a long weekend and you tell him over spaghetti tacos. He immediately blames Spencer, calls him a hippie, a failure, tells him that he isn't prepared to handle raising a young girl and threatens to take you to Yakima and to that Spencer yells like you've never heard before.Spencer sends you to your room but you can still hear them screaming through the vents until the door slams and then there's only silence.A few minutes later Spencer's footsteps are audible just outside your closed door and you get into bed, beneath the blankets and pretend to be asleeep when he knocks softly on your door before quietly letting himself in.Spencer drops heavily on the mattress beside you and you tilt into him with the shift of the bed, listening to his exhausted sigh."I'm sorry." You mumble and it's muffled by the blankets covering your head but Spencer just rubs your back."Stop apologizing, alright?" He says pulling the blankets off of your face. "Am I moving to Yakima?" You ask nervously and Spencer sighs again, scratching his head."No. Not if I have anything to do with it.""Does Grandad hate me?" You ask and Spencer just shakes his head and he seems so tired. And you remember the things your Grandad had said to him, the things he called Spencer and it makes you hate your Grandfather for it."You? No, never. Me? Maybe. But don't worry about it, okay?" Spencer stands slowly, wiping his hands on his jeans before he gives you a pat on the head, messing up your hair. "Get some sleeep.""Goodnight, Spencer" You whisper as he walks to the door and he turns around and smiles."Goodnight, Carly."* * *"How long are you gonna be gone?" Freddie's voice is soft and you try to smile even though you feel like crying, like screaming, like running away."Two weeks. My grandfather put me on independent study so I can keep up with my school work. He says he just wants me to spend some time with him." You whisper leaning fingering the table mats on the table in front of you."And you're sure you're coming back?" Freddie asks for the billionth time and you laugh and nod."I'm coming back, Freddie." And Freddie just watches you.You glance at Sam sitting across from you and she doesn't look up, just twists her glass of ice tea in aimless circles on the table."What about the show?" Freddie asks drawing your attention back and you just shrug."On hiatus, I guess.""Until you come back?""Yeah.""And you're definitely coming back?""Yes, Freddie!""Are you sure?" And it's the first words that Sam has really said since you told them that, while you're not moving to Yakima, your grandfather is forcing you to spend two weeks there for what he says is your own good. You told Freddie it was because he wanted to spend time with you but you told Sam the truth. All of it.She hates your Grandad and for the first time you might actually feel the same way."I'm absolutely positive." You whisper holding Sam's eyes until she looks away, fiddling with the lemon slice on the rim of her glass.You all look as Spencer enters the apartment, standing in the doorway of the front door."Granddad's waiting for you downstairs." he says quietly. "All your stuff is in the car.""Thanks." You croak pushing yourself up from the table and Freddie and Sam both follow you up and to the living room. "Spencer, Freddie, can I meet you at the car? I want to talk to Sam."Spencer gives you an understanding look before ushering a reluctant Freddie out of the door and shutting it behind them.The door clicks shut and you peer at Sam until she tears her eyes away from the floor and looks at you with glassy eyes."I hope you know that for the next two weeks I'm gonna have to hang out with Freddie." She whispers and you laugh through the tears burning your eyes."Yeah. I know, but try not to kill him, okay?" You ask. "And try to stay out of trouble until I get back.""No promises." She whispers and that's really all you can ask from Sam.She takes a few steps closer to you, closing the distance between you and her and when she swallows you can see her throat working."Two weeks. Then I'm coming back. Only two weeks." You try to reassure but you can tell she's not convinced."Promise?""Yeah.""Ankle shake on it?" She asks and you grin. You do the intricate handshake, sure to shake ankles at the end and as soon as you finish you kiss Sam.Hard and on the mouth and the tears you've been holding in burst free. She kisses you back, touching her tongue to yours and God, you don't want to leave. Even temporarily.Sam pulls back slightly, so that her nose touches yours and you focus on breathing through the tears."Tell your grandpa that I hate his stupid face, okay?" Sam whispers and the laugh that bursts from your chest almost hurts."Okay. I will."When you get outside the building you hug Freddie tightly and Spencer kisses you on your forehead before pulling you into a hug too."See ya soon, K!ddo.""Spencer, make sure he doesn't make me stay, okay?" You ask desperately into the collar of his shirt and Spencer hangs on a little tighter.* * *The two weeks you're in Yakima are the longest, most boring days of your life. You're Grandad doesn't have cable and only lets you talk on the phone for 30 minutes a night. So, when you finally, finally, come home words can't describe how relieved you are.And of course, Spencer throws you a surprise welcome home party and when you walk into the apartment you're scared half to death by people dressed inexplicably as cowboys and Indians.As soon as you walk through the door and recover from the shock you're nearly tackled by Freddie who's dressed as an Indian."You came back!" He cries and you laugh and try to pry him from where he's clinging to your waist."I told you I would." You grunt and just when you?re about to give up on the idea of being a separate entity from Freddie, Sam walks up to you.She's dressed as cowboy and you don't realize that you're grinning stupidly at her until she arches a lazy eyebrow at you."Looks like you got a problem, little lady." She says in an awful western drawl even going so far as to tip her hat at you and you just shake your head in amusement."Yeah, kind of sort of." you laugh and then Sam gets to work prying Freddie off of you. When she finally gets you free, she and Freddie stumble backwards."I'm sorry. I'm sorry, okay. I'm just glad you're back." Freddie explains straightening his Indian head dress."Me too." Sam beams and then suddenly Spencer is there, setting an Indian head dress on your head."There you go, now let?s party!"You spend most of the night sneaking glances at Sam through the crowds of people.The party goes on for hours and by the time it?s over you are exhausted and you should be in bed but you're not. Instead you are sitting on the floor between the coffee table and the couch watching Sam sleeep in her stars pyjamas.Spencer says that Sam can't sleeep in your room anymore but she can still stay over as long as she stays on the couch. It's one of his new rules that he made for you and Sam.It's nearly dark in the living room except for the dim light in the hallway and the television, which is playing Girly Cow and you look over your shoulder watching for a moment before using the remote to turn off the TV."I was watching that." Sam mutters tiredly and you laugh softly watching Sam stretch out on her stomach like a cat."Your eyes aren't even open." You inform reaching out to touch her hair, twining a lock around your fingers."But I was listening to it.""Okay." you concede scooting closer to the couch."Why aren't you upstairs. Asleeep?" Sam exhales, opening her eyes and you shrug and continue to touch her hair."I just can't." You sigh and you watch her blink at you tiredly before closing her eyes again. "Come upstairs." and the way Sam's eyes pop open is comical."Who are you and what've you done with Carly Shay?""Sam, c'mon.""No, I can't. Spencer's rules?" She hisses trailing off and you shrug."Since when do you care about rules?" You dare and she pushes up on her elbows to stare at you with wide eyes, the dimness blowing her pupils wide open."Since when do you break rules?" She asks. "Oh my God, what did they do to you in Yakima?""They took me away from you." You respond and for a moment Sam just stares at you."That was cheesy.""I know, but did it work?""Yeah, it did." Sam says reluctantly, sitting up and you grin cheekily as you take her hand and lead her quietly upstairs.As soon as the door shuts you two fumble on to the bed and wrestle each other out of your clothes."Geez, what're you doing." And Sam almost sounds like she's in pain but you know that can't be right, not with your hand, damp and sticky between her thighs and your mouth pressed against the hollow of her hip. You've heard how good this is supposed to be for girls, heard it from the older girls at school in the bathrooms and heard about it on TV and you want to do this for Sam. Unless she doesn't want it."Well, I'm gonna? you know? with my mouth." You whisper peering up at her and out of the corner of your eye you can see her hand fist the sheets beneath her."Carly, I don't?" She trails off looking down at you and you push yourself up so you hover over her."You don't want me to?" You ask lowering yourself on top of her and you swallow at the feel of her skin."It's not? I just? Do you want to?" She asks and Sam blinks up at you through her bangs."For you, yeah." You answer truthfully and you don't bother trying to keep the nervousness out of your voice. "If you don't like it, I'll stop, okay?""Okay then, I guess." Sam whispers quietly, dragging a hand through your hair and you grin at her before kissing her slow and deep.You kiss her until she's arching up against you and breathing your name into your mouth and then you slide down, kissing her neck and breasts.And you've decided that you like breasts, you like Sam's breasts, because they're soft and smooth and when you kiss them Sam makes the best sound in the back of her throat.You kiss down her stomach, stopping only when you get to the crease of her thigh and her hand finds the back of your head and the way she clutches at your hair makes you groan in a good way.You ease her legs apart and you Sam takes a deep slow breath."Do you know what you're doing?" Sam asks and when you look up at her, she's watching you and she looks terrified."No. Not really." You answer truthfully and Sam lets out a short strained laugh.And then you're looking at Sam, seeing her, and you try to remember what the web page said about oral sex. It's all about the rhythm."You're all slippery." You whisper and you touch her lightly, running your finger over her and she takes a shuddering breath."Yeah, they said that's what would happen in health class and it?s not like this is foreign terrain." Sam says breathlessly while you slide your middle finger inside of her and feel her muscles clutch at you gently."Yeah, Yeah." You say dismissively before you lean in and put your mouth against her.You move your tongue in long, even strokes and it doesn't take long before Sam is bucking up against your mouth and gripping your hair and God.She's breathing like she's hyperventilating and moving against your mouth and the combination makes you twist your hips against the sheets.Then suddenly it?s like something cracks and gives then Sam's shuddering above you, trying desperately to draw a breath, as you wipe your mouth on the back of your hand.You feel a smile curl your lips as you clamber on top of her and Sam smiles back."That was awesome." You laugh and Sam pushes you over onto your side so you two lay face to face. "I want to do that to you all the time."Sam just shakes her head before leaning in to kiss you and when she pushes her hand between your legs, you tuck your leg up against her side."Hey." She grins at you like she doesn't have her hand between your legs and you grin back."Hi."And the first time you ever break one of Spencer's rules, it?s totally worth it.* * *"Maybe you should tell your mom, you know, about us." You say around a mouthful of melon and across the kitchen table Sam sort of shrugs and uses her melon baller to carve out a perfectly circular piece of honeydew."I don't think so." She says and you look at her curiously."Why not?""Carls, your family and my family are different. Okay? Your family is awesome, except for you jank Grandad.""Sam," You admonish quickly."Sorry. It's just that my family is? well they're different." Sam explains meeting your eyes briefly before popping another piece of melon in her mouth and it must not be a good ball because she makes a bitter face.And as you watch Sam spit honeydew into her hand you think for the first time that maybe Sam's family won't be as accepting as yours.