Full Report - A Play in One Act

A Play in One Act

Two rooms are on either side of the stage. On the left is an older apartment furnished with a mid century style couch and chair, along with a coffee table. On the right is a sparsely furnished unit with peeling wallpaper, an old couch, a worn office chair, and two folding chairs with a TV sitting on top of another old chair up against the wall far right. As the lights come up, there is a football game on the TV as Tim (late 20's) enters right wearing a black T shirt and jeans opening a beer as he takes a seat in the office chair. Meanwhile, Susie (early 20's) enters left wearing navy sweat pants and a Sex Pistols T shirt, with her dark blue dyed hair pulled back, and sits down on the couch and picks up the phone.

Tim's phone ring and he picks up.

TIM

Yeah...

SUSIE

"Hey, whacha doing?"

TIM

Just drinking a beer, watching the game.

SUSIE

Who's playing?

TIM

Cowboys and 49ers.

SUSIE

Who's winning?

TIM

San Fran, 17-10.

SUSIE

Are they the Cowboys or 49ers?

TIM

49ers.

SUSIE

Yeah?

TIM

(pause)

Yep.

SUSIE

Why aren't they called the 69ers?

TIM

Because they're named after people who came to San Francisco for the gold rush, which took place in 1849.

SUSIE

Yeah?

TIM

Yep. (a beat) Is that why you called?

SUSIE

Well...

TIM

Yes?

SUSIE

Shanley said she had a good time with you the other day.

TIM

Did she now?

SUSIE

{resisting the urge to laugh)

Yeah. She says you're a really nice guy.

TIM

A nice guy, eh? Is that all she said?

SUSIE

No...

TIM

What else did she say?

(There are quick breaths, as if she is reaching back for the courage to let her mouth form words.)

Well?

(She giggles)

You know, for someone who claims to be a "real tough bitch," you act like an eighth grade girl talking about Donny Osmond.

SUSIE

Okay, okay...she said you're very handsome...

(She unsuccessfully tries to stifle more giggles)

TIM

That was very nice of her to say. Did she tell you anything else about our date?

SUSIE

No. I asked her not to.

TIM

Oh? Why's that?

SUSIE

Because I want to hear it from you.

TIM

Hear what?

SUSIE

The whole story.

(Tim sits up and turns off the TV)

TIM

So you might say you want a "full report" from me. Like the one you got from Dawn after we went out awhile back, is that right?

SUSIE

Yes. That's right.

TIM

Dawn told me you really like getting these...full reports, yeah?

(pause)

SUSIE

Yes I do.

TIM

You really liked hearing about my date with your girlfriend, didn't you? You really liked hearing about what happened, isn't that right?

(There's a moment of silence, and then a deep breath)

SUSIE

Yes. That's right.

TIM

It really turned you on to hear about me being with your girlfriend? Doing the things with her that you do, right?

SUSIE

Yyyyyyes.

TIM

Like going down on her. Fucking her. Making her cum. Hearing those hot little sounds you think she makes for you? The quiet moans. All the sordid details. You fucking loved that, didn't you?"

(More deep breaths)

Answer me.

SUSIE

Yes. Yes I did.

TIM

You what?

SUSIE

I loved hearing about how you fucked Dawn.

TIM

Of course you did. You really loved hearing about me being with your girl. You've set her up with other guys before, but you really wanted her to be fucked by me. Isn't that right?...Hello?

SUSIE

Yes. It was hot!

TIM

Damn right it was. It was so hot you couldn't stand it!

SUSIE

No I couldn't. I wanted to be there. To see it. To see it rise of empires ottoman izle all...to hear it.

TIM

Because you like to watch, yes?

SUSIE

I love to watch.

TIM

And that's why you recruited Shanley to blow me for my birthday, right? You had an ulterior motive beyond giving me a...unique birthday present. You wanted to watch her suck my cock, right? Because you're a little voyeur and you wanted to get off on it, am I right?

SUSIE

Yes you're right. I got so turned on at the idea of watching her go down on you after Dawn told me what she did with you, so I set it all up. And it was hot - so, so hot...watching her lick and suck your swollen purple cock.

TIM

I saw you staring at us, all slack jawed. You started touching yourself.

SUSIE

I couldn't help it.

TIM

I know. Because you loved how she sucked my cock. You wish you could do it as well as she does, is that right?

SUSIE

I want to be the best fucking cocksucker on planet earth. I want to suck your cock and have you cum on my face like you did to Shanley.

TIM

In time, young lady. For now, it's safe to say that you're both an audio and visual voyeur, aren't you?

SUSIE

Yes, sir, I am.

TIM

Well get ready then, because I'm going to tell you what...went down...with Shanley, and your little pink pussy is going to get so wet you won't know what to do.

SUSIE

Tell me what happened. Please!

TIM

Listen to you!

SUSIE

C'mon! Tell me about it. Please!

TIM

Alright. Alright. Well it wasn't the kind of date where Richie Cunningham borrowed his dad's DeSoto and took his girl to a movie, and then later, tried to see how far he could get with her at Inspiration Point.

SUSIE

What was it, then?

TIM

Well, she called me after you told me she would, and asked if I wanted to meet her for coffee up at Espresso Roma the other day.

SUSIE

The other "day?" You had a coffee date! During the day!

TIM

It was her idea.

SUSIE

Is that so?

TIM

Sure is, Missy.

SUSIE

So you bought her a...I don't know...decaf latte with milk and a bagel, and you got a double Americano, black, that they serve in those oversized coffee cups, and you two had yourselves a little coffee date.

TIM

Yes.

SUSIE

And you got to know each other.

TIM

Yes.

SUSIE

And you talked about the teachers that you hate.

TIM

It was actually our bosses, but yeah.

SUSIE

So you went on a coffee date - during the day - and you still saw her naked! I am impressed, sir!

TIM

I bet you are! But you know, we actually had a nice conversation. She told me about growing up in Tacoma, where she went to high school, how she was studying fashion merchandising in college before she had to drop out, but really wants to go back...

SUSIE

So then what happened?

TIM

Well after we talked about all that, she said something like, "enough about me, let's talk about you," so I told her about all my grand ambitions to be in middle management and have the corner office, and to have that beautiful Lexus in my driveway, all before I'm 30.

SUSIE

I bet she was really impressed by that.

TIM

Oh definitely. I showed her that I'm a stable, grounded, mature, well adjusted adult whose priorities are in order.

SUSIE

You've got your ducks in a row.

TIM

My shit is in a pile.

SUSIE

And I bet she was very impressed by how focused, grounded, and together you are, but did this fascinating conversation take any specific turns after that?

TIM

It just so happens that after all the small talk, she looked at me for a moment and told me that the idea for us getting together was yours, and after a moment, she said, "I liked the idea."

SUSIE

That's romantic getaway izle right. She really enjoyed delivering your birthday present. A lot.

TIM

She mentioned that, too. (a beat) So it was at this point that we agreed that we were ready to take this thing to the next level, so we decided we were going meet that evening for a beer or two at Charlie's, and we headed back down Olive towards our respective roosts, but when we reached Boylston, she turned and smiled and said, "this is where I turn," and I said, "Oh yeah?" and she had this shit eating grin on her face as she walked backward up Boylston and then turned around. So I went with her.

SUSIE

Of course you did.

TIM

We walked a short ways until we found her place in that old brick building on Thomas right on the corner with Boylston, and we went up to her third floor apartment, and her eyes had this glisten as she looked at me and then fished her keys out of her purse and opened the door.

SUSIE

(breathily)

Yes...keep going.

TIM

As soon as the door closed, we went inside and we sat down and smoked a little weed and she put Dead Can Dance on her little stereo -

SUSIE

Great choice. They are so sensual.

TIM

Yes, they most certainly are, and after we finished off a joint, she gave me this beckoning look and I stepped towards her and gave her a nice soft kiss.

SUSIE

And you kept your tongue to yourself, even though she snuck hers in a couple of times, because you're a fucking tease!

TIM

You know me too well. That is, indeed, what transpired.

SUSIE

So she took the next step herself, as I told her she'd probably have to because you play these fucking games! -

TIM

That is exactly what she did. She grabbed my face and kissed me long and deep, and then said, "I believe there's plenty of room on my bed," as she took my hand and lead me into her bedroom, and started undressing, and I followed suit, and just like on my birthday, she left her panties on, and -

SUSIE

What did they look like?

TIM

Um...they were pink, with Calvin Klein written across the waistband.

SUSIE

Oooooh! Cute!

TIM

Yeah.

SUSIE

She's got some great little tits.

TIM

Yes she does. They're just right.

SUSIE

Those nipples of hers could cut glass.

TIM

That's true. They could.

SUSIE

So enough about her great little tits. She's sitting on the bed stripped down to her undies, and you're standing there naked as well with your dick poking out. What happened next?

TIM

Well as I said, she's sitting on the bed and she says, "I know from experience that you eat pussy really well," and she looked straight at me as she slid her underwear off.

SUSIE

Did she lay back and open her legs?

TIM

Yes.

SUSIE

And?

(pause, her breathing becomes more rushed)

Well?

(Another pause. Tim waits a moment, then...)

TIM

I walked over to her -

SUSIE

As she lay there, prostrated, waiting for you to take her -

TIM

Shhhhhhh...I walked over to her on the bed...and...

SUSIE

Yes...go on...

TIM

Her legs opened...and...her wet pussy glistened in the light of the single lamp sitting on her nightstand. I got down on my knees and pulled her to the edge of the bed...

SUSIE

And-

TIM

And I...commenced the act of cunnilingus -

SUSIE

Like you did on your birthday -

TIM

Like we both did on my birthday.

SUSIE

You started licking her little pussy?

TIM

Slowly.

SUSIE

Very slowly. The way you always do.

TIM

That's right.

(She slides her hand into her pants and gasps)

SUSIE

Did it taste good?

TIM

It was delicious. It was perfect.

SUSIE

Did you flick rüyanda görürsün izle at her clit the way that you do?

TIM

You bet. That made her squirm suddenly and -

SUSIE

She isn't a screamer, but she does have these rapidly intensifying moans that make me tingle when I hear them.

TIM

Are you tingling now?

SUSIE

Yes.

TIM

Are your sitting up or laying down on your back?

SUSIE

On my back.

TIM

On the couch?

SUSIE

Yes.

TIM

Now of course you've got one hand on the phone, where is your other hand?

SUSIE

Guess.

TIM

Tell me.

SUSIE

No. I want you to guess.

TIM

And I want you to tell me. So tell me.

(Pause)

C'mon now. I know you want to tell me.

SUSIE

No.

TIM

You can't wait to tell me.

(Pause)

Right?

(Another gasp)

SUSIE

It's in my pants.

TIM

Why don't you take them off. In fact, why don't you take all your clothes off, and then I'll tell you how I ate Shanley's pussy, and how I fucked her.

(Still another gasp)

SUSIE

Okay!

(She puts the phone down, and quickly peels off her clothes, and then sits back down and picks up the phone)

I'm back.

TIM

You're naked now?

SUSIE

Yes.

TIM

Good.

SUSIE

PLEASE continue.

TIM

Okay. Now as I licked Shanley's pussy, she slowly rocked her head back and forth. There were soft moans, because as you said, she's not a screamer. That's not her style, but she did let out a yelp when I scarcely bit into her clit, and returned to striking at it like a snake - they way you love - and soon she cried out suddenly and she thrusted her pelvis up and held it a few seconds and dropped it, and then did it again. She kept thrusting it like that until she came to a rest.

SUSIE

Was there-

TIM

Sweat on her brow? Yes. So, as she lay there I looked at her and said, "Are you ready for round two?" and she said, "Yes, of course," and she had me lie down on my back and she mounted herself on top of me, and slowly guided me in.

SUSIE

Slowly? Is she tight?

TIM

Oh yes, she is.

SUSIE

How wet was she?

TIM

Very, very wet. How wet are you?

SUSIE

Drenched. So she wanted to take you in slowly and steadily.

TIM

And that's exactly what she did, and once she got in position and found a rhythm she closed her eyes and started riding me.

SUSIE

Riding that sweet dick of yours.

TIM

I bet you're diddling that sweet pussy of yours.

SUSIE

Like a champ. Did she go faster?

TIM

Yes she did. She rocked her hips back and forth. Are you going faster?

SUSIE

Yes.

TIM

Your fingers are inside?

SUSIE

Yes. Keep going!

TIM

So she rode me, faster and faster and she had her eyes closed most of the time until she suddenly opened them and looked down into my eyes and smiled, and she had this sudden sweet look of yielding in her eyes and she bucked slightly a couple of times and then came to a stop and said, subtlety, "Wow!"

(A long pause, and Susie's heaving breathing turns to loud moaning, squeaking, even screeching)

SUSIE

You fucked her. You fucked the living shit out of Shanley!

TIM

Yes I did.

(She doesn't respond, but the rhythm of hear moans increases, along with the cacophony of noises, and a cry, and another cry, and she holds her breath as she tightens her body as she nears frenzy)

SUSIE

Oh...oh...I'm gonna...I'm...oh yes, here it is here it is...HERE IT IS!!

(she cries out one more time and then relaxes, breathing very heavily, and then coming to a blissful end herself)

TIM

How ya doing, Susie?

SUSIE

Very well. That was so hot, Tim!

TIM

It sounded like it.

SUSIE

I should get you laid more often.

TIM

What you should do, my dear, is get your ass over here, now!

SUSIE

You think so, eh?

TIM

I know so.

SUSIE

I'll be over in 15 minutes.

TIM

Make it ten.

(She laughs, and then they hang up. Blackout)