Convincing Me Pt. 11

Break-up was inevitable; I mean of course, it was. We reached college and people who recognized her worth and beauty started fawning over her, making her realize that we were out of the shallow well of high school. I was no longer the most beautiful girl she knew... I became the jaded cheerleader.

Mandy always thought that I had it easy, that I would fall out of love just as fast as I fell in love with her. But, the truth is, no matter where we were, the quaint little town down in the Midwest or the busy streets of New York, I only had one person that I wanted to be mine, and that is, and would always be Mandy. She is my one and only love.

We came to college together, and because she thought we would both need a little space and time away from each other, she got a dorm room and I got an apartment close by the campus. It didn't matter in the beginning, because she was with me most of the time anyway.

While I was barely an average student in my class, M shined bright, which is the only things mattered to me anyways. But Mandy used to tell me, insist, that I think of my personal growth than just be happy watching her grow, and although I know she just wanted to make sure I was not in the sidelines, these talks inevitably lead to an argument. It was after one of these arguments that I caught her kissing that Kappa Sorority bitch in her room.

At first she tried to explain how it was not what it looked like, and how much she missed me. I don't think I really believed she could cheat on me, not just because she loved me, but also because she is an upstanding citizen, the honorable one, who would not do anything unethical. She would not kiss another girl because it would be wrong of her to do so while in a relationship with me; but not because she wouldn't want to.

She wanted to kiss her, but didn't because of me, that is what I thought... I didn't get peace of mind, and generally, that would mean shopping spree. But who would I go with? I had no friends... because Mandy was the only person I spent time with. I couldn't go with her, when what I wanted was to distract myself from her.

I decided to get an early start on my school project, and replied to Mandy's hundredth message with I need space. Being the amazing person that she is, she did not even respond to it and kept her distance for about a week, during which I not only submitted my project, but also caught up on all the classes I have been lagging in.

To be honest, although I had begun studying as a way to distract myself from Mandy, I realized that I could be good at what I love, that I could finally be worthy of, an equal to Mandy. And when I got my first "A", the first keçiören escort person I called was Mandy. I couldn't wait to hold her again, tell her that I knew she would never cheat on me, that what I saw was a lie. To ask for her forgiveness and tell her that I could be successful, just like she wants me to be.

We met that evening, but as soon as I hugged her, I knew we were over. She told me, how she tried to love me, but how it was impossible and how I was holding her back. She told me of the offers she got from other girls, and the possibility of exploring sex with others. I can only remember this in a blur, because I could barely hear her over the sound of my entire world shattering around me. I couldn't speak and she took my silence to be consent.

It has been six months since that evening at the students' café, but she is still the only one in my dreams and my reality. I did not try to change her mind because I didn't want her to do so because I begged.

But finally, I am at home for the long weekend, and Maria seems exceptionally happy that I came alone. She is bustling with joy that I have been "cured", but seems incapable of noticing that I am numb inside.

To be fair, though I am doing an exceptional job at hiding my pain and I have been doing extremely well at school. So, everyone thinks I have just blossomed to my full potential... Only I know that I get very close to dying every time I see Mandy laughing with Sophie (the sorority chick), or when I see her touching other girls or even when I catch a whiff of her perfume in the hallways. I don't think she has seen me since our break-up and does not seem to be missing me in the slightest.

I even stopped picking mom and dad's (I started calling her parents mom and dad soon after she declared her love for me at my birthday bash) calls after our break-ups, but now that I am home, I have decided to go visit them. No matter how much it hurts me.

"So she is alive!" exclaimed Dad as he opened the door, and called out, "Look who is finally home, darling!"

Mom hastily came to the door and hugged me tightly, making me regret all the times I pressed the ignore button on my phone. "You could have called, you know?"

"I know, mom. I am sorry. I wanted to. I just couldn't bring myself to talk to you".

"Come in, darling. I'll make you some fresh lime juice with salt, just the way you like it".

"Who knows if she even likes lime juice anymore?"

I went over and hugged dad and mumbled into his chest, "I'm sorry Dad" and sobbed softly because I couldn't hold it in anymore.

"Don't cry sweetheart, it's okay. I was just joking... keçiören sınırsız escort I know... I know... It's okay"

He kept petting my head till I stopped crying.

We all sort of settled down at the dining table, and mom asked me, "Do you want to tell us what happened?"

"I don't know... I guess I do... I knew she deserved better than me, I just kept hoping she wouldn't find that out," I chuckled sadly.

"You stop that right now. If Mandy thinks she deserves anything more than you, she is dumber than I thought," said Dad. "But what I need you to know is, that she doesn't think that. She did not trade you for a better girlfriend. Okay?"

"Say that to hour-glass Sophie."

"Sophie isn't half as great as you are for Mandy."

"Oh my god! You guys have met her. It is already that serious between them?"

"Tammy, you're spiraling-"

"No mom... I... it doesn't matter. If it's alright can I sleep here tonight?"

"Do you need to ask baby?"

"I will be in our- Mandy's room. Goodnight"

I kissed them both goodnight and went into the room I lost my virginity... The room I saw my soul-mate in all her naked glory for the first time... the room where I knew I found the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I laughed at my own stupidity... At my juvenile and stupid ambitions.

However, that room also reminded of the many times M told me why I should have ambitions of my own... Why I should aim for more than her success... In short, why I should have a life of my own. Even six months after our break-up, I thought of getting back together with her. I wanted to do good at school so she would deem me worthy...

But now, for the first time in my life I want to be the best version of me, because I am worthy of it. I finally saw what she meant, whether or not we get back together, I am going to drive myself to be the best I can be... like Mandy strives with everything she does. I want to be an artist and create something that is mine... and in the last few months I have learned that I am capable of it.

With this new knowledge and new goal, I decided to get a good night's sleep for the first time in many, many nights. While scouring through Mandy's cupboard for a nightdress, I ran into an old gift I got for her; the red vibrator... The same one I used to fuck her with, in the backseat of my car.

I pulled it out, and reminiscently watched, as it twisted and turned into life in my palm. My panties got wet involuntarily, as I smelled my lover's sweet pussy in the phallic object. I licked it tentatively and bit my lips immediately. This is the first keçiören yeni escort time since the break-up that I have felt even remotely turned on.

I moved it to my jeans-covered crotch and whimpered at the small tide of pleasure. With a sudden need for release, I took my phone, which has a very, very, very lewd slide-show of Mandy in various poses and states of arousal, and pulled my T-shirt over my head before unsnapping the bra.

Jumping on to the bed, I moved the vibrating rod to my right nipple and gasped slightly at the sensation. My free hand involuntarily went to my crotch to rub my jeans, and before long I was using my entire fist to rub the area. Without taking my eyes off my darling's photo - where she is biting her lower lip while pleasuring herself, I took my jeans and panties off.

My own urgency was winning over my need to make this last as long as possible -considering I haven't done this in a while - so I decided to distract myself by pulling my left nipple up, an biting it hard. I imagined Mandy biting me... My long, hard nipple was irresistible for her... She used to play with it for hours at length... till I would beg her to move on.

I doubt anyone would be able to pleasure me the way she can. She knows where wanted to be touched... where I wanted to be licked... and where I wanted to be bitten. Oh... bitten... How I wish I would bite her again... suck her skin until she had a purple mark that made it clear to everyone that she was mine... and mine alone...

I couldn't hold it off any longer... I didn't need the photos anymore... I closed my eyes and all I could see was my Mandy... naked and waiting to fuck me... I grabbed the vibrator that was now moist with my saliva and roughly shoved it into me... I spat on my left breast and spread the saliva around the areola, before pinching it hard.

While the vibrator did its trick deep inside my body... my fingers were working its magic on my clit. Back and forth... back and forth... back and forth... I could see nothing but my baby squirting all over my big breasts... I started cumming hard. With a familiar whimpering I finally stopped cumming and laid there... on our bed, with the vibrator stuff wiggling inside me and me subconsciously pinching my very hard and sensitive nipples.

I slept off like that... and woke up in the middle of the night after a very, very wet dream that obviously included the love of my life, only to realize I am the loser lying in the bed of the woman who wants nothing to do with her. I chuckled bitterly... but after looking at her photos I found myself getting turned on again... I was orgasming again in no time... and this time, I went to sleep thinking how amazing it would be, to have actually sex with Mandy.

I woke up to some chaos downstairs and I hurriedly fixed the bedroom and myself before going down to see what the hell was going on. The vision that awaited me, was something I was not prepared for... Mandy with her new girlfriend Sophie.