My Very First Love

You never know when it will happen and you certainly don't know what to expect or how you will feel when it does. At the tender age of sixteen and one month, it's impossible to gauge how a person will behave when faced with affection from another, especially when they are shy, reticent and immature.It's true what they say, that women develop emotionally, far earlier than men, or a teenager in my case.I must have experienced so many emotions in those five months of love, each one causing my heart to flutter in some uncontrolled way, many causing butterflies in my stomach and one or two leaving me in a state of panic and nausea.I don't know how it came about, but three male friends of mine met up with about four girls at the local park one afternoon in February. They lived about a mile away from us but it was not unusual for people to travel some distance away from their local area, even in our small community. I think it was accidental, to begin with, and I remember that we played coyly with each other. Every now and then someone would shout out that so-and-so fancied so-and-so; associated with a lot of giggling. My name was never mentioned but I never expected it to be.Before we all split up and went our separate ways, one of my mates suggested we meet again the following day at the same time and they all agreed. When the time came around, we were reduced to just the four of us; two guys and two gals. We just chatted, giggled and generally messed around; playing on the children?s roundabouts, slides or swings. We were just very big kids when it came down to it.I was teased. My mate and a girl named Angela tried to get me to kiss the other girl that was there. Instead of just going for it, I just shook my head and pretended that she wouldn?t want to kiss me. But secretly I wanted to try it, and apparently, so did she. On the way home that evening I was told that Aronwen Davies, that was her name, the short one with the black hair, all of four foot and two inches, fancied me. To be honest, I was gobsmacked. I was tall for my age reaching nearly six foot, skinny and shy. What on Earth would a girl like Aronwen want with someone like me?Yet, it brought warmth to my heart as I snuggled down that night under the duvet while listening, covertly, to Radio Luxembourg on my personal radio. The words fancied echoed in my head. I got very little sleep as I was far too excited.We hardly saw each other at school or on the bus for the whole week that followed. It was on the Saturday of the following weekend that my mate and I cycled all the way to where they lived in the hope of seeing them out and about. We more or less lurked around the parks and streets hoping to bump into them. We didn't see them and so we had to wait until the following week, at school, to try and arrange a meeting for the next weekend.We did arrange that meeting and we eventually started courting, as they called it. I remember us sitting on some concrete slab, side by side, looking into the shimmering water of the brook below us. I glanced sideways at her and she returned a wry smile in my direction. We had grown so quiet I could hear her Escort Anadolu yakası breathing. I think we both realised that we had to do something when we both ran out of words.?Do you want to kiss?? I asked her.She just nodded and smiled and our heads came together rather awkwardly, as I remember. We kissed and parted almost as fast; like it was naughty to do so. It was after we kissed that I really noticed her deep brown eyes, the way her hair formed a curvaceous fringe across her forehead, her aroma and her heaving breasts; indicating, to me, that she must have been just as excited as I was. I put my arm around her and that?s when the butterflies in my stomach started to flutter. I wondered whether hers were doing the same. We ended up kissing for most of our time on that concrete slab, with my arm around Aronwen?s shoulder. *Stu and Angela eventually returned from wherever they disappeared off to and interrupted us; putting a stop to our tingling lips but not the butterflies.I was teased some more until we announced that we were an item.From then on we always arranged to meet on weekends and one or two evenings during the week. Though having to be indoors by nine in the evening didn?t leave much time, but since I played football a lot, I didn?t have to make too many excuses to my parents. We had no way of contacting each other; this was the time of home phones only, heavy use of which was scrutinised by overzealous parents. Mobile phones and even the internet were not even thought of and so all our meetings were clandestine and pre-arranged.We made arrangements by passing notes during class and talking when we could. Our togetherness was innocent, to say the least, but it was the happiest time of my life. We walked out together, we held hands, we cuddled and we laughed a lot. We kissed too, but not in a passionate or lusty way. Not at first.We played silly games together, she used to pull a daisy from the ground and we would start pulling the petals off one by one, we would recite, she loves me, she loves me not, she loves me ?One time, Aronwen got to the end of her daisy and the words, he loves me not, was on her lips as she pulled the last petal from it. She hesitated and told me to quickly pick another one, telling me that this one hadn?t grown properly.One evening, I felt severe pain in my heart when we arranged to meet at the corner of my street. Aronwen didn't turn up at the arranged time. I waited and waited. It wasn't like her to be late. But I waited for ages. All sorts of things crossed my mind, but the one thing that was the most persistent was the one that caused me to doubt myself. After four hours in the cold, I had come to the conclusion that she no longer wanted to see me anymore. That we had finished. My heart sunk. I felt contractions in my stomach and the feeling of nausea threatened me. The butterflies had flown away; possibly for good, scared off by this feeling of rejection.I wanted to ride all the way to her house and see whether she was there, but I was so scared of what I might find, so I went home, sulked and worried Kurtköy escort myself to death; as you do. I met Aronwen on the bus the following day. I hesitated about looking in her direction; pretending I didn?t see her. I felt a tap on my shoulder, and soon after, the explanation of why her father had not allowed her out that evening.An intense relief flooded through me and we couldn?t stop chatting all the way to school. I never told her how it made me feel, it would have been too embarrassing.It wasn?t long before we arranged to try and catch the same bus to school. We had so many to choose from that it was a case of her sitting in the same place every morning, top deck near the back, and me looking for her as the bus pulled up. On a few occasions, I missed all the buses because I hadn?t seen her. Those were the days I would get into trouble because I was late.The days turned into weeks and eventually, our parents found out about us. I think they knew for some time, to be fair, as everyone knows everyone else?s business in the valleys. But I didn?t expect to be sat down on the edge of my bed one evening and told the facts of life by my dad.* That was worse than embarrassing, even if I wasn?t totally aware of what he was going on about. I came out of that conversation more scared than when I went in.My mother would periodically take a shot across my bow and tell me never to come home and say that I had got that girl into trouble. In my defence, I thought that kind of stuff was in the far future and had no chance of happening right now.But, with our relationship out in the open, it did mean that we could sit in the parlour, listening to records and kiss in private, and in the warm; our senses acute and listening out for any sounds that indicated that parents were approaching so that we could make ourselves tidy.Every kiss caused a tension in me that I had never felt before; a sense of wonderment. It always caused those damn butterflies to jostle inside me, but it also caused my willy to extend and grow within the confines of my trousers. I just hoped that Aronwen didn?t notice my predicament. Every time I was near her I became excited. It had nothing to do with the sexual urges from within me, though they didn?t help, it was simply because she wanted to be near me. I felt I belonged.We did have one unplanned meeting on a rather rainy Saturday afternoon. We hadn?t arranged to meet and I was at home. Aronwen was waiting at the corner of my street, waiting for me to appear, which I didn?t do. It started to rain, heavily, and as luck would have it, my grandmother was walking back from the shops and saw this waif of a young woman, soaked to the skin and shivering, huddled against the stone wall, in a vain attempt at trying to avoid the rather large raindrops. Fortunately, my grandmother recognised her.I was actually doing homework when Aronwen appeared out of nowhere ? soaked to the skin. My grandmother immediately ushered me out of the room and into the parlour. I didn?t know why but I next saw Aronwen with some makeshift clothes on her. My grandmother had stripped Maltepe escort bayan her and was in the process of drying her clothes by the open fire. I distinctly remember listening to my mother and grandmother talking through the thin walls of the house, about how big she was for a girl so young. I guessed she was talking about her bosom. After all, they weren?t something that you could miss.I never did find out why she came to visit me that day, she never said. I liked to think it was because she missed me because I know that I felt the same. Every time we kissed I felt love and happiness. Yet, every time I wanted to tell her what I thought, my nerves got the better of me and I would clam up. If you want to know what love feels like, then for me, it was that feeling of being euphoric when Aronwen was with me and physically sick when she was not.By Springtime, we spent more time in each other?s company. The nights were lighter and our time after school was spent in each other?s company. All thoughts of my friend Stu and Angela were far gone. In fact, they never did make it to couple status, not like Aronwen and I.As the weeks and months drew on, I just couldn?t imagine being without Aronwen. My relationship with my own friends waned slightly. The weekends were one hundred per cent reserved for my girlfriend. The label, girlfriend, sounded good.On one afternoon in April, Aronwen and I found ourselves walking up one of the many mountain paths into the forestry. It was her that suggested we find somewhere where we could kiss. I don?t know why, but I became scared of the consequences; of being caught outdoors by some dog walker. We wandered into the thick forestry of pine trees for all of five yards; yes, I thought, five yards would be enough. We found enough free space on the ground to lie down together comfortably and without the pine cones and needles sticking into us or staining our clothes. We started kissing.By this time in our relationship, the kissing had become a little more passionate and tongues often started to fight with each other. I felt those butterflies again. Not because we were kissing, but because I wanted to move my hand to touch her. Her breasts had indeed got the better of me and I wanted to know what they felt like. I hesitated far too much. I wanted to place my hand on one of those large bosoms my grandmother had commented on, yet I was scared of the repercussions or whether she would complain or just didn?t want that to happen. The last thing I wanted was for her to run away screaming that I had touched her somewhere that was not proper.Yet I did.We kissed and kissed and my hand slowly cupped her breast; on the outside of all her clothes.* I couldn?t believe it. I had touched Aronwen?s breast. I was over the moon with excitement. My mind was swirling around, hormones were being treated to an early birthday present and I was on cloud nine. It didn?t stop either. My hands reached up her jumper and struggled when it reached her tight bra. She had to lift herself up to release the clips at her back before my hand could slide up onto her bare flesh.I noticed the glint in her eye and saw that she was waiting for my touch. She swooned when my hand glided over her smooth flesh and onto her nipple. I let the palm of my hand rub against her stiff nipples as we kissed. I was slow on the uptake and didn?t, for one moment, think that she so desperately wanted me to touch her. How naïve was that?