Airgasms Before Orgasms

"Hey, Sis. How's your love life?" Toni plunks her coffee down on the table and moves my jacket from the other chair before sitting down. I close my book and take the jacket and hang it on the chair back behind me, catching sight of the back of a guy with sun bleached brown hair, a little shaggy, but not overly long. He's wearing a nice dress shirt. He's got a nice back, with broad shoulders narrowing toward a waist that's blocked by the back of the cafe chair. "It still sucks. You know I can't seem to meet any decent single men." I hear a snort behind me and wonder if he overheard my comments. Maybe he snorted at something he read. "It's your own fault, Randi." "Thanks for the sympathy, Bitch." Toni just laughs at me. We can get away with calling each other 'Bitch' without hurting feelings. Mostly. Like now when she knows she's right. My life mostly sucks. "You had it easy, Toni. You met the right guy in college. I'm stuck here in Loserville." "And you've given up." "No, I'm just waiting." "To meet Mr. Right?" "That's about it." "But you won't date coworkers." "Career suicide. No thanks." "Sucks." "Tell me about it." Toni's married. She's heard it all before. She tells me I'm too fussy and she might be right, but I don't want to settle for the kind of men I typically meet. "And no gyms, bars, churches, adult ed classes, online dating services..." "I'm tired of meeting men who are cheating on their wives or girlfriends." "Honestly, Randi. Will you ever run out of excuses? What are you doing Saturday?" "I was hoping we could go shoe shopping at the mall." "Sorry, I can't." "Well then, I'll be doing the usual. Rom-coms and novels at home with Bootsie." "Mr. Right is going to knock on your door and introduce himself while you're petting your cat and watching Sleepless in Seattle for the 30th time?" Another snort comes from the guy sitting behind me. I'm pretty sure he's listening to us now. I talk lower. "What would you have me do, Toni? It's not like I can walk around with a sign that says 'Available to Decent Guys'. I wouldn't even know where to walk." "Sorry, Sis. I just think you could try harder to find where they are. Do you think they're all sitting at home waiting for you to show up?" "Isn't that why so many ballgames and car races are televised?" She laughs. "Well, I guess you got me there." "Unfortunately, since I can't rely on my friends to introduce me, I pretty much just have to wait for chance. I just can't see how else to avoid wasting my time." "How is it that your friends know you, and the decent guys' friends know them, but none of them are the same people?" "That's got to be one of the biggest mysteries of life, Toni." We order lunch and when it comes, our waitress hands a folded piece of paper to me and says, "A guy just gave me a tip and asked me to give this to you. He seemed like a nice guy. I hope it isn't something nasty." I look behind me and Mister Nice Dress Shirt is gone. My heart speeds up as I thank the waitress and unfold the paper. It's simple notepad paper with a few lines printed halfway neatly on it. Decent single guys are wondering where you are. You're attractive, but you hide behind books and girlfriends and the walls of your home, while they get out and make other memories to fill the empty hours. Don't let a few cheaters keep you away. Be open and positive. I show the note to Toni and she laughs. "He was a good looking guy. You should take his advice." "He acts like it's all my fault. What does he mean by 'make memories to fill the empty hours'." "Probably male-dominated hobbies where they can meet women who are more outgoing than you. You know, like surfing or motocross. I'll tell you what, I'll ask my friends what they think." "Don't bother, really. I don't think I want to take advice from a guy who's that arrogant." "I'll ask them, anyway. The advice was good no matter how you got it." The note bugs me for the rest of the day. I try to put it out of my head, but I start thinking of him as 'Noteman' and I admit to myself that it felt good to know I made enough of an impression to cause him to write something. He called me attractive and I know that I'm not ugly. My height and intellect make me unusual, but I'm not super tall or super smart, just noticeably above average on both. I wish my boobs were bigger because a 36B looks smaller on a tall frame. I wish my hips and thighs were smaller, but my friends tell me I'm slender and they envy me. I look okay in a two piece swimsuit. My relationships with men have failed for the usual reasons. I'm headstrong and don't always want to be the submissive one. I hate being treated like a 'typical woman'. I hate the assumption that I have a ticking biological clock that drives me to look for 'husband material'. I want a guy who's a friend first and a lover second and he has to be able and willing to articulate his thoughts and feelings. And when I need him to just shut up and fuck me, or let me fuck him, that has to be okay with him. And he better fuckin' tell me when he's got a problem with me, because if he cheats, there is no second chance. I think that pretty much covers why I'm not single. I have trouble sleeping that night, so I get out my trusty toys and start to imagine a guy with buns of steel and Noteman's back and hair, He's paddling into the waves on a surfboard. I like the idea of sitting on a beach and watching him and I imagine myself watching him ride waves. When I see him come in, I just lie back in the hot sun until he comes up the beach all wet and drops his board next to me. I'm naked and I can't see his face because of the sun in my eyes but since I don't know what he looks like, that's probably better. I imagine him kissing me and I feel his cool chest on my nipples, which hardens them up nicely. "Some nice rides," he says. "My turn now." I close my fingers around the dildo. It's cool, like a cock that just came out of the ocean, and hard. I bring my free hand up and my fingers become his cold wet lips on my nipple. They warm as he sucks contentedly. I set the dildo on my belly and place my hand onto my pussy as I imagine his fingers there, circling gently and then opening my lips and slipping a finger inside. I'm wet and I smear my juices all over and then slip the dildo into my hole. I pinch and twist a nipple and switch my vibrator on, bringing it to my clit. I imagine it's his tongue and let it work its magic on me. I see his sun-bleached hair bobbing above my tan taut belly. He looks up and makes eye contact with absolutely beautiful crystal blue eyes that melt my heart. My juice runs out around the dildo. His avatar smiles and winks Escort Ataşehir at me. My orgasm starts to form. Not yet. Too soon. I pull the vibe away and start to work the dildo. Now he's fucking me on the beach. I put the soles of my feet together and pull them up to just the right place, splaying my legs open just the right amount. The dildo feels perfect now, so I bring the vibe back to my clit. "Oh god, Noteman. Fuck me. Fuck me hard. That's it. Ah, perfect. Make me scream. Make me cry. Make me write bad checks." I think of firm tan buns thrusting down, pushing a hard cock into me harder and faster until I burst. Again and again I squeeze his pole as I press the vibe hard onto my clit. I gasp through the pleasure I bring myself while I imagine his cum filling the empty space in me. Now I can sleep. "Good night, Noteman. I will look where men hang out and make memories and hope some are single and decent. Just get a message to Toni so I'll know where." God I feel so desperate. -------------------------------------------------------------- "Hi Karl, how's the love life?" "Hey Sis. Same old same old. Still dating Rosie Depalma." "Ha, you're incorrigible. All those women out there and you fall in love with your hand." "Well, it's not like I fell in love with Rosie. She just keeps crawling into bed with me and I don't have the heart to cut her off. Besides, I need her to open my parachute." "Still jumpin' students?" "Yep, every weekend. Haven't bounced one yet." "Well that's good, considering you'd most likely bounce with them." I escort Karen into our favorite Mexican restaurant. A hole-in-the-wall with low prices and big portions. I know she's going to talk about why I should be dating, but today I've got a good example of why I don't. She's heard all my reasons. She calls them excuses. Today I have the conversation that I overheard at lunchtime fresh on my mind. After our meals come, she doesn't waste any time starting in on me. "So did you renew your membership to that online dating site?" "Yes, Karen, but I still weed them out before we meet in person. Even the ones who get close to being dateworthy remind me of this conversation I overheard today. I was at lunch and this woman was complaining to her sister about not being able to meet any decent single men." "Ooh this sounds good. Give me details. Lots of details. Start from the beginning." "Okay, I looked in the mirrored wall of this cafe where I'm eating lunch and I saw this woman walk in and sit at a table for two behind me. She's about our age and she's got a floater body..." "What's that mean? Is that a skydiving thing?" "Uh, yes. It means she's long. It's hard to tell when looking in a mirror, but she could be 5' 11". She's slender, for her height, maybe 150 pounds. So, if she jumped first in a big fluffy jumpsuit, she could spread out, do a dead spider, catch air and float up to the formation from below. Well, she's not really floating up she's dropping slower than the people who jump after her and start the formation. If she was the base of the formation, everyone would plummet past her and she would have to dive the formation to catch them, even if she was wearing a skin suit. "Anyway, so she's attractive, at least what I can see of her. She has shoulder length chestnut hair. She buried her nose in a book. I recognize the jacket and it's my kind of book, hard science fiction. It's technical stuff involving complex physics. So I'm guessing she's no slouch when it comes to brains, which is good. I like a woman who can hold up her end of an abstract conversation. Her coat was on the other chair. So she already had two strikes against her." "What? Explain." "Well, she gave off a 'stay away' vibe. She didn't advertise openness. If she was open to meeting some guy, the book might be on the table, but not open. Her head would be up and she would be alert to who was around her, so someone could make eye contact with her. Her coat would be on her chair so it didn't look like she was there with someone else. Sure, she could have been saving the seat for her friend, but it's not like anybody is going to take it away from her in that cafe. She could ask them not to. "So her sister came in and started asking about her love life, just like you do. Now she had a human shield making it even more difficult to start a conversation with her. Her sister had a ring and more of a base body. So Floater started complaining about how hard it is to meet a decent single guy. Her sister told her it's her fault and she gave back a bunch of excuses, but mostly, she sits at home and watches rom-coms and reads on weekends. I can understand not wanting to meet guys at bars and health clubs and other meat markets, but it just seems like, if she's typical of the kind of women I'm attracted to, I'm going to have to knock on doors looking for a date or just do what she does, wait until it happens by chance rather than intent. All through her conversation, I wrote this note to her about how decent guys are out there, but she's hiding from them. When I left, I asked the waitress to give it to her." "You did?" "Yeah. I'm helpful that way. Maybe some other guy will be able to thaw her out now." "So you're not going to eat there again? To see if she shows up?" "No, I was only over there for a dentist appointment. It isn't far from where you work, but it's too far from where I normally am. Besides, she probably wasn't too happy about the note." That night in my room, I think about the woman who looked at my back both times when I barely contained my laughter. She has a pretty face and I think about what a shame it is that nobody's kissing it regularly. I can understand her difficulty, but not her approach to dealing with it. I have trouble sleeping, so I jack off thinking about a favorite porn video that happens to have a slender brunette who might look something like Randi. It's pretty satisfying and helps me sleep. I get a call from Karen the next day and she sounds excited. "Hey bro. I think I work with the sister of that woman you gave the note to. Did you hear any names?" "Yes, the sister was Toni and the floater was Randi." "That's them. I can't talk long, but Toni and I can fix you up with Randi. Toni says Randi was having a bad day and was really intrigued by your note. Think about it and send me an email if you're interested. Bye." If she hadn't been her usual self and made it impossible to get a word in edgewise, I would have told her not to bother. I really didn't want to waste my time with another bitter victim of cheaters and other bad relationships. But I know that Karen Ümraniye escort would have pointed out that I was the pot to Randi's kettle. I had a few bad long term relationships and a lot of short, dreadfully boring stints with bimbo-class women under my belt. So I decide to try something different. I write up lists of favorite authors and books that I've enjoyed and send the list to Karen, asking her to get the same lists from Randi, but to exchange the lists simultaneously with Toni and let Randi choose the next 'topic of compatibility'. I figure I can tell as much from her choice of topic as I can from her lists. I also ask Karen not to give any photos of me or my last name to Toni. I have an inkling of a plan and it requires her to not know my name or face when we first meet in person. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- When Toni first tells me this matchmaking plan that she cooked up with her coworker, I think she must be crazy. Noteman really pissed me off at first, but I got over that. That didn't mean I wanted to meet a guy that I had obviously made such a bad first impression on. What he said was obviously true, but I never knew I was auditioning as I sat there in a cafe. Toni pointed out that there weren't many other places I would meet a guy. And now I have a link to him with two go-betweens. I wish that I knew what he looked like, but the fact that he seemed to be trying to help me with his note and get to know me with his is enough to intrigue me. I fill out my list of books and authors. Toni warned me that he was brainy and I review my lists, but decide not to change anything. I read what I read. Everything from hard SF to sappy romance novels. I decide to be honest and hopefully scare him away with truth before I meet him. It bothers me that he's seen me but I haven't seen him. I have only Toni's word to go on, and her description of 'a bit over six feet tall and good looking with thick brown hair and a tan' is too vague. I try to think of a topic of compatibility that I can pass through Toni. I want to know all kinds of sexual stuff, because I don't want to waste my time on a dud. But I decide that might be rushing it. I think about music and movies and decide they're not all that important to me. So I choose 'Dos and Don'ts' and write up a list of things like 'don't be a smoker, do be a social drinker, do have a steady job, etc.' It surprises me when his list comes back and the first entry on it is 'Do skydive at least once, to see if you'll ever understand me.' Toni is worried that this will be a dealbreaker for me, but I guess I surprise her when I say, "I've always wanted to skydive. I just never broke the inertia that was keeping my ass on the ground. I could do that. And I could see how I might meet interesting single guys in a place like that. I just hope he isn't like a ski bum." His final entry on the list was 'Do contact me at my burner email address, skyslave_at_XXXXXXXXXXX with private and personal dos and don'ts.' This is different for me. Sort of like chatting online with an online dating site only slower and with much more time to think. So I get a new email address just for Karl. We've exchanged first names only. We start exchanging emails and learning about each other. We go through private sexual Dos and Don'ts and Likes and Dislikes. Some of it gets pretty explicit, enough to light my fire a few times. We're both adventurous when we get to know someone. Some might think that all this exploring and learning about each other should be done face to face, but we're both readers, and apparently both writers. We both write paragraphs in answer to the questions we start asking each other about all kinds of topics. He seems in no hurry to meet me and that intrigues me. So I eventually decide to get bold. Why no rush to meet me? I've got time. I'm comfortable with this. You still haven't skydived? Wow. You're really serious about that. No. I think I would like to. I'm just not sure how to proceed. Yes. Airgasms before orgasms. It will either be what comes between us or it will strengthen us. Will you teach me? That would be nice, but no. You'll get much more out of the experience if you go and do it. It can happen any weekend. I don't like being tested. I've had relationships break up because it came down to the sky vs. her. I wanted it to be the sky with her. It makes a weird kind of sense. It's like, 'Know me or not, your choice'. Exactly. I gotta warn you. You'll be pounced on like fresh meat at the drop zone. Single guys are very attracted to women who take the plunge. Ha! Literally take the plunge. So you're risking losing me by not taking me there as your girlfriend? Yes. I don't want you if I'm not your choice out of the available options. I'm the kind of guy who gives choices, even if one of the options is to walk away. What about your options? I meet a steady stream of students. I could date a lot of them. I have. I might again. It's not usually satisfying. It's very rare for me to have a mental connection. I don't want to brag, but I don't want to be falsely humble. My mind is well above average and it's hard to relate in a long term relationship to mundane thinkers. The mind is the most important sexual attractant. I'd rather wait for the right woman than get invested in the wrong one. Don't get me wrong, I very much want there to be a right woman in my life. Right now, that means a woman who has a brain and who's taken the plunge. Have you tried this approach with other women, writing your way into their life? No. After the initial note that I wrote in the cafe, I thought I would never see you again. When Our sisters made the connection, it just seemed like a natural way to avoid the pitfalls of a first date. I could keep doing this until you're comfortable. I think I'm there. Are you? Can you recommend a skydiving school? Of course, there was a lot of other talk in our email exchanges, but those were the crucial words that sealed the deal for me. He was basically pushing me away unless I could relate to something he was passionate about. If he liked typical jock sports, I would have gladly been pushed away. If it was mountain climbing or something similar, a sport where strength was crucial, I wouldn't have the time for getting good at it and don't really have the desire to work that hard. But something about skydiving, especially freefalling, just always appealed to me. So on a sunny Saturday morning I drive out into the sticks to an airport. There are 5 other students and we gather briefly to hear a standard Bostancı escort bayan talk. If we choose the tandem jumping option, we would get a short intro and then we would jump. If we choose the accelerated freefall (AFF) option, we would get a longer training session and then jump. Five of us choose the tandem option. It means that I'll be strapped to a big guy who has an oversized parachute and he'll fly me like freight. If I like it, I can go from there into the AFF method for a second jump. If I don't like it, I can drive away, assuming I'm not a splatter on the ground. After a short lecture on Dos and Don'ts, I suit up and get strapped into a harness. I meet the guy who'll be my jumpmaster. One thing that becomes pretty obvious is how blatantly sexual all of the jumpers are. I guess when you play that close to death, with such a high level of excitement, it breaks through some barriers. The jumpmasters are jokingly referred to as humpmasters because of the position they're in behind the student. There are comments about flying united and joining the Two Miles High and Hurry Club. We crawl into the plane and take off for a long slow climb to altitude. As we get close, we get connected to our humpmasters, each of whom has digital video and still cameras strapped to their helmets. My humpmaster is named Skybox, I guess that's because he's pretty tall, and he'll take photos and video of another student, a short pudgy guy named Bill and a humpmaster named Sensei who'll take photos and video of us. We'll both get copies of both videos. We're the first group near the cargo door of the big twin-engined plane, so when the green light comes on, the humpmasters do a quick safety check on each other, turn their cameras on, and give a quick run-through of body positions to us students. Then the green light flashes and after a quick nod between the humpmasters, Skybox grabs the hip straps on my harness, lifts me, yells, "Duck down!", and walks right out the open door. The noise from the plane falls off almost as fast as my stomach. My heart is pounding as if an Alien is trying to hammer its way out of my chest. Skybox taps twice on my hockey helmet to remind me to get into the proper body position as the wind noise steadily increases until we reach 'terminal velocity'. You would think that when the students are scared witless, they wouldn't use a term that had the word 'terminal' in it. I'm looking around and it hits me that a whole freakin' planet is coming toward me at 130 miles per hour and I have a 200 lb. guy on my ass whose fall will be cushioned by little old me. Suddenly I see another person slide into my view between me and the planet and I realize that Sensei, who came out behind us has dropped below us. He stretches his arms and legs out as far as he can and his jumpsuit seems to suddenly grow, causing him and the little pudgy guy to rise right up in front of us. Sensei and Bill are both smiling like complete fools and I suddenly realize that I am, too. Sensei gives me two thumbs up and I see that he has some sort of trigger in his hand. I return the thumbs up and he thumbs the trigger, snapping stills. I see the wind distorting their faces and feel it blowing my upper lip around. I try to tighten it and just start laughing. Sensei and Bill back away from us and at some unseen signal, both humpmasters turn 180 degrees and open their chutes. I feel a huge jerk and I thank the nylon webmakers for the harness that keeps me connected to Skybox and that beautiful red rectangular airfoil that sits perfectly inflated at the end of a good many rayon lines above us. Now Skybox is flying that wing and he turns us around to find Sensei and Bill. I forget that the cameras are still going and I hear a wild 'Wah-hoooooo!' from Bill. I whoop it up with him as they come into sight. I shout 'That was fuckin' awesome!' and I hear Skybox start laughing. "That will be a nice addition to both of your videos, Randi." "Oops, sorry. You can edit that out if Bill doesn't want it, right?" "Sensei, probably can. He's good with that stuff." I suddenly notice how fast we're moving, relative to the ground, and how quickly it's coming toward us. "Get ready to lift your feet up real high when I say 'Now!' and hold them until I say 'drop'." "Okay." We're penetrating into the wind and right about the time I think were going to plow into the ground, Skybox hauls down on the steering handles and the canopy swings back behind us into a neat stall, bleeding off our forward speed. "Now!" My knees come up and then I hear, "Drop!" and set my feet down like I was hopping off the step of a bus. I'm back on terra firma with nothing more than a slight jolt. I hear Sensei give the same commands to Bill and look over to see them both piled up on the ground and laughing their heads off. Skybox cuts me loose and I turn around and hug him, thanking him for landing me like a feather compared to Frick and Frack. Bill and Sensei come over to join us and I say, "I want to go right into AFF and do that on my own." Sensei laughs and says, "It sure beats watching Sleepless in Seattle for the thirtieth time, doesn't it?" I look at him and he's got a big grin on his face. "Noteman? Karl?" He gives me a quick nod and I look into his blue eyes and jump into his arms. "I definitely understand now." Skybox and Bill look kind of puzzled, so on the way back to the rigging barn I explain only that this was an elaborate blind date that our sisters arranged. Bill's not interested in the AFF, so after confirming that he doesn't mind my profanity on his video, Skybox pops the cards out of his cameras and gives them to Sensei. I need two instructors and a cameraman for the AFF but Skybox has other duties so Sensei puts the word out for one instructor and one cameraman in three hours. We grab a bite to eat and then he begins to train me. I'll be jumping on my own with three other people. Two will hold onto me until it's time to pull the pilot chute out to open the main canopy. The class is interesting as I learn some technical terms that they don't bother teaching the tandem students. I also learn the mechanics of how the chute opens and the steering and landing procedures. I pass a brief oral test and Sensei asks, "Do you have a nickname you want to be called. If you don't have one, somebody will pin one on you." "I was Chess Nut in high school." "Because of your hair?" "No," I laugh. "Chess the game, plus Nut. I'm a geek girl." "Ah good. Guard that secret. Don't spell it out. Let everybody assume it's for your hair color and drop that in the punch bowl some night around the bonfire." I don't know what makes me do it. Maybe it's that 'living with the possibility of death' thing, but I reach out and rub one of his pecs. "Maybe they'll all think I'm a nut for a nice chest." Sensei actually blushes a little when he grins. "Easy Randi, can I assume you have no plans for tonight?" "Oh, I have plans, Karl.