humor

humorSoftness and hardnessA man bumps against a woman in a hotel lobby. During the collision the elbow mound against the chest thereof. They are both surprised. The man turns to her and say,"Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you will forgive me."To which she replied:"If your cock is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 221."Influantes StatsA businessman boarded a train and finds himself sitting next to a beautiful woman. He notices that she is reading a book about sexual statistics. He asked about this, and she will answer:"This is a very interesting book. So the Indians are those whose penis is longer, and Britons are those who know to use it. By the way my name is Jill. And you?""The Geronimo Genneck, nice to meet you."Staying coolOne evening, while a couple sets, the husband begins to caress the arm of his wife. She turned and said, "I'm sorry honey, I have an appointment with the gynecologist Ankara escort tomorrow and I want to stay cool. '" The husband turns disappointed. A few minutes later, he turned back to his wife."Do you also have an appointment at the dentist tomorrow?"The cutterBill worked in a pickle factory. He had worked here for several years when he came home one evening and confessed to his wife that he had a terrible temptation: he wanted to put his penis into the cutter pickles. His wife suggested he go see a ther****t to talk about it, but Bill said he would be too embarrassed. He vowed to fight this one temptation. One day a few weeks later, Bill came home. That woman saw immediately that something was wrong."What's wrong Bill?", She asked."You remember my fantasy you about the cutter pickles?" "Oh, no, Bill, you do not have ...""If.""God Bill that has happened?""I was fired""No, I mean, Ankara escort bayan that has happened with the cutter?" "She has also been fired."Hair smellingA young secretary is doing photocopies at the office when one of his colleagues said:"Hmmm, your hair smells awfully good!"Immediately, the secretary will see his head and complained to him of being sexually harassed! "How so?" asks the boss"He told me that my hair felt awfully good ..." replied the girl"And then," exclaims the chief, "I would have thought it was the kind of compliment that would have made you happy!" "But boss," resumed the girl, "This is a dwarf ..."sex joke: It's more that it wasA couple has been married for 50 years. One morning at breakfast the woman said:"Remember how 50 years ago, we were probably sitting at the same table together." "I know," said the old man "probably we sat completely naked.""Well, Escort Ankara well," said the old woman "relive a bit of the past."Then the two are completely undress and sit down again. You know darling, "said the little old excited" my nipples are still as hot today as it was 50 years ago! ""It does not surprise me," replied the grandfather "There's one in the toaster and the other dipped in your coffee.Calories and funLook at how many calories you can lose for:UndressWith permission 12 calWithout permission 187 calRemove her braWith both hands 8 calWith one hand 12 calWith one hand being slapped 37 calWith the mouth 85 calPut the condomWith an erection 6 calWithout erection 315 calDuring the actHold in the air 12 calRemain on the floor 8 calPositions:Mom and dad 12 cal69 8 cal lying69 112 cal standingItalian Chandelier 912 calHaving an orgasm:A true 112 calA false 315 calAfter orgasm:Stay in bed 18 calJump off the bed 36 calChat with her partner 816 calHave a second erection:Between 16 and 19 12 cal20 to 29 years old 36 calFrom 30 to 39 108 cal40 to 49 324 calFrom 50 to 59 972 calMore than 60 years in 2916 calPut her clothes:32 cal quicklyVery quickly 98 calWhile her husband opened the door in 1218 cal