Surrogate

I have always resisted the passive (sub) role in life. I was an only child and maybe my parents didn't treat me as much like a girl as they would have if I had a brother.
Anyway, I got married too soon- he was a nice guy but not sexually experienced. I think all young men should be taught by a horny older lady! before they are released on inexperienced girls. They would learn how to please women in various ways. My husband learned how to please himself, and resisted any change in position from missionary; but to be fair we had religious guidance that was mis-guided. They told us that man on top, woman inert, was the only proper way to fuck. Only they used conjugal relations to describe fucking. You get the idea.
After 4 years of marriage, I still had a husband who would kiss me a few times, stick his finger in my cunt the way you might dangle your toe in a swimming pool before diving in, and if I was damp- he would start fucking and be done in a minute or two. If I was not damp he would pump his finger in and out, and I was usually horny enough that I got wet from even that.
Then he would fuck fast and hard for a minute or two, ejaculate in me (never outside me or in my face) and say something like "that was great" or "that was SO great", and then fall asleep.
I would experiment with ways to rub myself to orgasm. Based on the way I would hump against a vibrator or dildo, I decided that I needed more MOVEMENT to get to orgasm. I liked pushing against things, and sometimes was even getting really hot from my husband's fucking! but never enough to get close to orgasm. And I did try getting myself really excited by going to bed first and staying awake, playing with my pussy, until he got to bed.
Then when he "tested the water", he would get super excited by how wet and swollen I was, and he would finish EVEN FASTER than he did when I started out at zero. When I tried moving while he blasted me, it upset him that I was moving around too much. One day I knew I needed to find some guy who was more interested in my pleasure than my husband was.
While this might seem to be an easy task in the age of internet dating, I didn't want just anyone (duh), and I did want someone who would be totally discreet (double duh).
Since I didn't care if he was cute or not, and didn't plan on marrying him or even dating him, he didn't need to be anything except NICE to me and good at letting ME experiment with him to find a way I could enjoy sex more. I didn't want to go on a pay site, so I put an "ad" in craigslist and learned what women learn when they post in craigslist: there are a whole lot of low-life jerks in the world, and a lot of them can read and reply to postings.
Even the ones who seemed educated and sophisticated (by which I mean they did not send pictures of their penis), were unable to explain to me how they would prove to me that they were knowledgable about my problem. I did explain the problem and they often came up with "what I would do", but somehow they never got around to explaining how they would keep from finishing fast the way my husband does.
Maybe I should not assume that all men are like that, but why wouldn't they be? I've got a tight cunt, I am cute, how much are they going to need before they cum?
I tried to ask a woman I know, but there is no way to ask questions like that without having her know exactly what my problem is- and I didn't want that- the women I know are such gossips! The only good it would do was to keep any of them from thinking my husband might be a good lover! As things were I almost hoped he would cheat- with someone who would teach him something!

I did find an old book by Masters