The IWFC: Epilogue

The International Women's Farting Competition (Epilogue)
July 25th, 2024
12:00 PM
IWFC Stadium
--
The stadium had long been empty. Every single fan, employee, and player had left and gone home. Kiko Sugiyama however, now awakened from her Serafina-induced coma, remained.
PRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAPPPT!
"(Sniiiiiff) (sigh). The effects of the Gasphorisine must have worn off... my smell is no longer as powerful."
Sugiyama took a seat on the floor. "(Sigh) I may not have won, but I know my ancestors are at least proud that I have tried, even despite my cheating. Master Iwasaki however still seems to be quite livid."
(Gurgle)
"Ope! I have to fart again. Luckily no one's here to hear me ripping ass."
BBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIMMMMMP!
"Ahhhh, that relieved a lot of pressure in my stomach... but it felt a bit wet... probably need to go defecate soon..."
"(Sigh)... Why did that Connor guy have to chicken out at the last second? Ugh! And to think we all planned on partying it up on the strip or in a private mansion for the weekend because we thought we had this in the bag. Welp, at least there's always next year..."
"Next year... 'next year'! Oh, how I love those words!" Said a mysterious voice coming from the shadows.
Sugiyama gasped. "(Gasp!) someone's here?" She said as she looked around the dimly lit stadium floor.
"Next year... there's always next year, Kiko!"
"Who are you??? How do you know my name??? Reveal yourself!!"
"How bout you reveal that nice plump ass mama! Haha!"
"(Gaaaasp!) how rude! I am a lady! An elegant one at that!"
"Yeah right! A "lady" who lays fucking massive hippo-sized farts! That ass is dangerous!"
"Stop talking about my backside!"
"How could I stop talking about it if it's so damn nice, tight, and juicy??"
"Whoever you are, you're a huge pervert!"
"Pervert? I like to refer to myself as 'sexually liberal', eh?
"Wait... did you just say 'eh' at the end of your sentence?"
"Ummm, yeah, I did?! And what about it?"
"Whoa whoa whoa... say the word 'about' again please?!"
"Uhhh 'about'?
"Say it again!"
"God dammit she's onto me..." whispered the voice
"Say about again!!"
"Ok! Fine! ABOOT!"
"(GAAAASP!) I knew it!! That nasally Canadian drawl gave you right away! Come out and reveal yourself, Adrianna Bartochowski!!"
EEEE-ERR
EEEE-ERR
EEEE-ERR
Out of the dimly lit stadium, Adrianna Bartochowski emerged, but she was being pushed in a wheelchair by one of her Teammates from Team Canada, Min "Chem Bomb" Lu, a 3 time Ontario Fart Competition winner as well as often being regarded as the second best farter in all of Canada only being behind Bartochowski.
"Heh! Well look at you, all breathing and shit. Thought you were dead!" Said Bartochowski. "I thought Serafina's little fart explosion surely would've killed you."
"Well I'm alive." Said Sugiyama. "What's with the chair?"
"I'm cosplaying as Joe Swanson." Said Bartochowski.
"Stop joking. What happened?" Said Sugiyama in a more serious tone.
"Ok, ok, Jeez! I got... a little roughed up..."
"By who?"
"By some... disgruntled individuals at the casino..."
"Uhhh, really?"
"She didn't pay her gambling debt, and some gangsters broke her kneecaps with a baseball bat for it." Said Min Lu.
"Wow. I thought crap like that only happens in the movies. Sucks for you, I guess! Shouldn't have bet a million on us winning!" Said Sugiyama.
"Hey! This isn't my fucking fault! It's that Connor guy's fault for not rigging the game like he was supposed to! He pussed out, man!" Said Bartochowski. "If he were to just let you guys win rounds 1 and 2, I wouldn't be in this fucking chair for it!"
"Your plan was bound to fail Adrianna! The risk was just too high! The Gasphorisine was enough but the money component was just overkill! You really need to keep your hate boner for Team USA in check so more things like this don't happen to you!"
An angry expression grew on Bartochowski's face. "NO. My hatred for those subhuman pieces of filth will never die! For as long as I live I will make it my career's mission to beat them for ruining my chances at winning a third title! And with regards to... (snarls) Serafina fucking Wind... I will make it my personal mission to DESTROY her physically and mentally to the point where she will NEVER LIVE TO FART ANOTHER DAY."
QUUUUUAAAAAAAFFFT!
"Ummm... what was that?" Said Sugiyama.
"Uhhh... whoops! Hehe... me and Minnie had sushi before this!" Said Bartochowski. "I thought the chair would muffle the sound..."
"Sushi?? Yum! (SNIIIIIIIFFFF!) ahhhh! Oh how I love the smell of rotting fish!" Said Sugiyama, as she deeply inhaled Bartochowski's fart.
"Uhhh, you actually fucking like the smell of my sushi farts?" Said Bartochowski.
A large smile grew on Sugiyama's face. "Yes! It reminds me of my old neighborhood in Tokyo! Whenever I used to walk into onikişubat escort the bathrooms, I'd smell all the women doing their business! Oh how good Japanese women's farts are!" Said Sugiyama.
"Ummm..." stammered Bartochowski.
"Hey, but that doesn't mean I'm into women sexually, however. I only like to sniff their farts! I'm still into men! So don't even think about trying anything with me, Adrianna!"
"Hey, a hole's a hole in my book." Said Bartochowski as she gave Sugiyama a wink.
"You are DISGUSTING!!!"
"Hey, why don't you calm down there, I'm not gonna try anything with you! Well, unless you present those nice thighs and ass in front of me, I might..."
"Stop talking about my backside!"
"Alright, alright! I'll stop!"
"..."
rrrrrrrrrrrrrRRRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIMMMF!
"Ooops! It just slipped out..." said Bartochowski with an evil grin on her face.
"God dammit Adrianna! (SNIIIIIIIIFFF) (SNIIIIIIIIFFF) ohhhh yeaaah! (SNIIIIIIIIF) awww! Did you have (SNIIIIIIIIF) imitation crab? And (SNIIIIIFF) yellowtail?" Said Sugiyama as she dug her face into Bartochowski's legs.
"Hell yeah I did!"
"(SNIIIIIIIIIFF) those are my favorite scents!"
Suddenly, Sugiyama pulled her face out of Bartochowski's groin. "(Clears throat) ummm... I may have gotten a little carried away there..."
"A little?" Said Bartochowski.
"...perhaps..."
"Hehehe... if you like to sniff farts so much, why the hell did you get so pissed when that bitch Serafina was farting on you during the match?" Asked Bartochowski.
"Her farts did not smell good to me! They reeked of western foods! I only enjoy sniffing Japanese woman's farts, or farts from people that have eaten sushi, because they remind me of Japanese woman's farts! Japanese women's farts are of higher quality!"
"That's oddly specific..." said Bartochowski.
"It's the truth! Nothing compares to Japanese gas!"
"well, what about Minnie's farts right here? She's Chinese and she eats a shit ton of Chinese food, and China is pretty close to Japan soooo..." Said Bartochowski.
"Nope! Chinese woman's farts pail in comparison to a Japanese woman's! The Chinese eat too similar to Westerners, making their farts LOWER QUALITY!!"
"You hear that, four-eyes?!" Said Sugiyama pointing at Lu. "Your farts are low quality!!"
"Me having 'low quality farts' won me 2 IWFC Championships and 3 Ontario Farting Championships... your point is?" Said Lu.
"(Scoff) you are nothing compared to the JAPANESE FARTER MASTER RACE!!"
"Ok, ok, ok! We get it! Japan is better than China, China is better than Japan blah blah blah! I thought we resolved that crap like 80 years ago! What I came here for is much more important!" Said Bartochowski.
"What did you come here for?"
"Well... I came here... TO DO THIS!!"
BRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAPPT!
"Hahahahaha!! Sniff it up Sugi! Sniff it up!" Said Bartochowski.
"(Sniiiiiff) mmmmmmhh! (SNIIIIIIIIFF) oh yes, yellowtail!" Said Sugiyama as she wafted the smell to her nose
"(Clears throat) as you were saying, Adrianna?"
"I was saying... the reason I came here was to recruit you, bud!"
"Recruit? What do you mean by that?"
"You know exactly what I mean... I want you to JOIN TEAM CANADA, so we can come back next year and beat the FUCK outta Serafina and Team USA's asses!"
"...you want me.... to join... Team Canada? How would that even work?"
"Simple, you file for Canadian citizenship and we put your name on our roster for the 2025 IWFC season."
"Simple? SIMPLE??! You want me to just drop everything and move to Canada, all for my farting career?! Japan is my home, Adrianna! I can't just leave my home like that! And do you know how hard it is to become a fucking Canadian citizen?! I'd have a better chance of getting struck by lightning!"
"She's got a point." Said Lu.
"Look, Sugi, you HAVE to do this! For us! Do you see how Team USA humiliated us during their post game championship ceremony?! They dissed the fuck out of both of us! They said 'Fuck you' to me, Minnie, and you on live TV! That Giordano bitch told me to BLOW HER!!! ON LIVE FUCKING TELEVISION!!! We can't just let them get off scot free after saying shit like that!"
Sugiyama's mad expression softened. "I... I just don't know if I can join you..."
"Um, dude? Did you SEE what Serafina did to you in that match?! She stepped on you, called you names, and farted so hard that it left everyone's eardrums ringing! Look, I wanna beat Serafina Wind, YOU wanna beat Serafina Wind, and together, that bitch won't stand a chance. Join me so you can properly DESTROY her once and for all!"
"I... I just... I can't... I can't join you, Adrianna."
"Hmmm... well I fear you don't exactly have a choice, Sugiyama..."
"Huh?"
"Oh? You didn't hear? Connor ratted Team Japan out for cheating in the championship match... the IWFC committee has decided to ban Japan from competing in the competition for ordu escort the next 5 years."
"Wait, WHAT?! That. LITTLE. SHIT!!" Said Sugiyama, her fists balling up. "He was in on it! Fucking hypocrite!"
"First Japan gets banned from participating in international conflicts... and now they get banned from participating in international farting competitions... oh how history loves to repeat itself..." said Lu.
"SHUT UP!" Screamed Sugiyama.
"Welp, I guess if you aren't gonna join Team Canada you'll just have to sit out of the IWFC for the next 5 years." Said Bartochowski "Guess we're done here. Minnie, wheel me away!"
"WAIT!" Said Sugiyam.a "Don't go!"
Lu turned Bartochowski's wheelchair back around "Oh! I guess someone may be interested after all!"
"I... I'm... I..."
"You're in? Is that what you're trying to spit out?"
"Y-yes... if that means I get to properly 'destroy' Serafina Wind, l-like you said."
"Well then let's shake on it you crazy Japanese bitch!!"
Bartochowski reached her hand out. Sugiyama started at it for a few seconds.
"C'moooon! Shake my hand! I don't bite!"
"Uhhh.."
"Kiko, when people don't shake my hand I get REALLY sad... so can you just shake my hand, so your old buddy Adrianna doesn't get all down in the dumps?" Said Bartochowski.
"Ok, fine! And you're not my buddy!" Said Sugiyama.
Sugiyama slowly reached her hand out, and touched the tips of Bartochowski's fingers.
"Haha! Got her ass!" Whispered Bartochowski.
Suddenly, Bartochowski grabbed the top of Sugiyama's head and forced it down into her crotch.
"Now tell me, do you smell more Imitation crab or yellowtail? HAHAHAHA!!!"
PRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPT!
"Aaaaahh! What the hell Adri-(SNIIIIIIIFFF) OHHHHH YEEEAAAAAHH! IMITATION CRAB BABY!!!" Said Sugiyama as she dug her nose into Bartochowski's nether regions.
Bartochowski grabbed a wad of Sugiyama's hair and threw her face off her legs
"You have a very *strong* smell, Adrianna."
"Well you can thank the guy who made my sushi!"
"(Sigh) I want to continue farting in the IWFC... and if I truly have no other choice, then I guess I will join you Adrianna."
"Very well." Said Bartochowski, as an evil, devilish grin grew on her face.
"Together, you and I will RULE the IWFC, and Serafina Wind will PERISH. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH-"
FRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPT!
"(Sniiiiif) oh GOD!! That's horrible!! Just straight SHIT!" Said Bartochowski as she waved the air "Minnie was that you?"
"Nope." She said as she shook her head.
Both of them looked to Sugiyama, who was hanging her head in embarrassment. "Uh.... Teeheehee! I, uh, thought it would be silent..."
THE END!
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BONUS: History of the IWFC
The international Women's Farting Competition is the world's most prestigious farting contest. It is held every year in Las Vegas, Nevada, USA. Hundreds of millions of fans tune in each year to watch it live in person or on TV.
Farting competitions have been a thing for all of humanity, stretching all the way back to Edo Japan. But the IWFC itself actually has its roots in West Germany, during the Late 1970s and Early 1980s. It all began in 1977, when a group of wealthy German Women funded a city-wide, head to head, "king of the hill" style women's farting contest in West Berlin. The contest was a direct response to the Farting Competition held in West Berlin a year earlier that drew in a large crowd, but unfortunately didn't allow women to participate.
Over 50 women participated in the contest. 2 women farted against each other for one round. A fart judge would stand behind both contestants rate their farts based on smell, sound, force, frequency, and length. Whichever farter won would stay in the fart square, while a new farter entered. Whoever lasted the most rounds in the fart square won.
The West Berlin Women's Farting Contest was extremely popular to many West Berliners. The West Berlin Farting Committee decided to hold the competition annually on April 1st every year. The following year in 1978 the competition drew crowds in the tens of thousands, and in 1979, many people from all around West Germany as well as Denmark, The Netherlands, Belgium, France, as well as many off-duty American, British, and French soldiers occupying the city at the time came to see the competition.
It wasn't all peaches and cream however. Neighboring East Germany in 1980 formally expressed their hatred for the West Berlin (Now West Germany) Women's Farting contest, saying how they found the contest extremely low brow, classless, and unladylike. The Soviet Union and Yugoslavia also held similar sentiments retaining to the ever growing farting contest.
But there was also a huge problem within the contest as well. A very stinky one, at that. The West Germany farting contest was no longer a contest! From 1980-1983, the contest had örnekköy escort been won each time by one woman, and her name was **Liesel Rosenbauer**. Liesel Rosenbauer, also known as "stinkendes Mädchen" (stink girl) and "reich die Rosen" (smell the roses) was a force to be reckoned with, and is widely considered to be one of the greatest farters of all time. Due to her amazing farting ability, she became the face of the competition while also becoming sort of a pioneer for women farting, making it a cool thing to do for women in West Germany. By 1983, every woman in West Germany wanted to fart like Rosenbauer.
Due to the immense success of the WGWFC, as well as the popularity of Rosenbauer, many women's farting competitions spawned across neighboring countries. The most notable one being the France Farting Competition, The Denmark Farting Competition, and the Switzerland Farting Competition, as well as many city level and company sponsored competitions.
However, East Germany, still watching those gassy, West German women fart up a storm, had enough. They thought that they needed to put an end to this competition, by fighting fire with fire. In 1983, East Germany formally challenged West Germany to a women's farting competition. West Germany agreed, under the conditions that if they lost, they'd have to stop holding women's farting competitions forever.
West and East Germany assembled teams of their greatest female farters, and on a Saturday night, the competition was held at Olympiastadium in West Berlin, in an event later nicknamed "IWFC Match 0" by IWFC fans. The East German government gave the East German Women's farting Team special permission to cross the Berlin Wall, crossing through a secret entranceway. It was a tough match and total dogfight, but with the gassy heriorics of Liesel Rosenbauer, West Germany ultimately prevailed.
Word quickly got out about the fart battle between East and West Germany all over Europe. Many more countries like the UK, Ireland, Norway, Sweden, Finland, Italy, Spain, and Portugal started holding women's farting competitions for large cash prizes to try and bank off the new women's farting trend. Women's farting only grew in popularity.
Conflict arose when France and The UK began to publicly trash West German farters, saying how West German women's farts couldn't compare to British or French women's farts. But other countries also began to talk bad about each other as well. By 1984, every single country in Western Europe believed they had the best farters.
West Germany decided that enough was enough, and it was time to show that West Germany truly was the gassiest nation there is, so they decided to organize an international farting competition in the summer of 1984. The original international women's farting competition consisted of West Germany, France, Italy, Switzerland, Belgium, Denmark, The United Kingdom, Spain, Portugal, Ireland, The Netherlands, Austria, Norway, Finland, Sweden, and even Luxembourg as well as Iceland.
West Germany ended up winning against Switzerland by a close victory, but out of pure competitive spirit, decided to transform the West Germany Women's Farting Competition into a full blown International Women's Farting Competition that would happen every summer in West Berlin. The IWFC was born.
The IWFC would continue to grow in popularity in Europe. In 1986, Morocco, the first non European country began to compete as well. They were closely followed by Canada, Australia, New Zealand, Japan, South Korea, Egypt, and Tunisia in 1987.
The United States had previously ignored West Germany's invitations for them to compete in the IWFC, but after the immense worldwide viewership of the 1990 IWFC Championship (France vs UK), American Investors saw the immense money-making potential of women's farting competitions, and began forming their own competitions (most notably the American women's farting competition).
Team USA officially began competing in the IWFC in 1991. But for many years, they sucked and consistently got beat by better European farters. No one in America took women's farting seriously, unlike the Europeans, who worshiped the sport as if it were on the same level as soccer.
In 1999, an American businessman/super fan of the IWFC (and now President of the IWFC committee) named Jack Odorsmell bought the IWFC, and moved it from Berlin to Las Vegas for greater sports betting and gambling opportunities and to further grow the American fan base of the sport. The following year in 2000, Team USA won the championship which did a lot for the sports popularity in the states. Although Team USA didn't win another championship until 2024, American fan support of the sport still increased steadily every year, despite all the disappointing and lackluster performances of the team during their championship drought.
Latin America, Africa, and Asia would become bigger players in the IWFC during the 2000s, mainly due to the success of Brazil, Japan, China, and South Africa. The success of Mexico and South Korea in the Early 2010s as well as The Philippines and Nigeria in the mid 2010s would only continue this trend.
Nowadays, the IWFC as well as many women's farting competitions enjoy large success in all corners of the globe.
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Every single IWFC champion: