Michelle's Journey Ch. 01

AUTHOR'S NOTE:
I wasn't actually planning on writing this. But in February, one of my readers (and a dear friend) asked me to write a different kind of taboo story (well, different for me at least.) She inspired and encouraged me as I progressed on formulating this story. It was her suggestions and feedback that helped solidify this story: so credit goes to her. And the ideas came to me relatively quickly within a few weeks. So the more I thought about it, the more I felt inspired to tell this story.
This evolved into a story that was much more than simply about mother-daughter incest. It became a story about the raw edges of the human heart and soul. About pain and loss, internal conflict, passionate taboo, and ultimately about redemption and hope. Sadness pierces the soul and clouds the mind, but over time love can heal the deep wounds. The full meaning of the story will become clear in the second half of it.
I want to take you on a journey, and not just an erotic one. It's a journey into heart break, true love, family ties, and the deepest reaches of desire. How tragedy, disappointment and pain is confronted, and ultimately overcome. My characters are so often flawed and they certainly make mistakes, but I also want them to be unique, beautiful and relatable. They have scars on their souls just like all of us do, I suppose this is the most poignant and grounded story I've published so far.
This is a 'slow burn' compared to some of my other stories. But once the sex starts, it gets very hot indeed. This story takes place within the same fictional world as my other ones, but it's only loosely connected to them. Almost all of the characters are new ones.
After many delays, I'm glad I finally got to publish this. All of the chapters will be released over the next few weeks. Please rate and comment, the feedback is very useful for me as I try to develop my skills as I write more. Thank you.
SAYING GOODBYE
It was a calm day in the late spring just outside Oklahoma city, there was a lone figure in the graveyard. Michelle Engelbert looked down at the simple grave marker. It was a good resting place for her beloved, the grave was below an oak tree. Becky always said she liked oak trees, that simple memory made Michelle smile.
"I miss you. I always will, dear Becky."
Becky had been gone for a few years by then. But she was everything to Michelle, she was her world. That light brown hair, that glowing skin. Her big, blue eyes and her voluptuous body. Michelle had never been so attracted to anyone like that before. But, it was really her heart that made her so perfect and beautiful to Michelle. She was such a kind and generous person. Always eager to help anyone, even complete strangers. And she had accepted Michelle just as she was, without exception or hesitation. She remembered the day they met, Michelle was going for a hike and Becky was out walking her dog.
They hit it off immediately and had a close friendship, which soon blossomed into something rare and beautiful. They fell deeply in love and Michelle felt complete at last.
Then she looked down at the tattoo across her left forearm. It was a dove and a heart, with Becky's name done in beautiful cursive across the heart. She had walked into that tattoo shop three days after she died, wearing sunglasses so no one could see her tears. But Danielle was very gentle with her, and she was relieved to find a female tattoo artist that was available. It just seemed more appropriate and comforting to her at that time.
She helped her calm down, and patiently listened to her talk all about Becky for over an hour. Then she started drawing, and produced a beautiful design for Michelle. She didn't have to think about it, she got the tattoo immediately.
She had tormented herself with guilt for at least a year after the funeral. Running scenarios over and over in her head: if only she had literally just two more seconds that terrible night. Two more and she could have saved Becky. Because the drunk driver lost control and hopped the curb where they stood, it happened within a heartbeat.
Two more and she could have pushed her out of the way, but it all happened so fast. She was only four feet away when the driver's side bumper smashed into her body, impacting with that wretched, horrible noise. She saw the car suddenly change course before Becky did, but it was too late.
Michelle screamed in shock as it happened, not believing her eyes. Ironically, in those few seconds time seemed to slow down as she reached for her, and Becky stared into the bright headlights. Her body was tossed towards Michelle as the driver smashed into a metal dumpster behind the bar. The same bar they had just walked out of. She just screamed and screamed in terror and pain. A crowd soon gathered and someone called 911, people were also in shock and panic at what they just witnessed.
"Becky! Stay with me! Please, stay with me!" She cradled her lover close, there was so much blood. dalaman escort Becky looked up at her, her lungs wheezed with a rasping noise. She was struggling to stay alive, she was fighting even as her body got colder by the second.
"Please, Becky! Don't go where I can't follow!" Sirens could be heard off in the distance. "Please, just hold on!" Michelle's tears fell in her hair and over her broken body. In another 90 heart beats, she was gone. The internal trauma was just too much for her to survive.
When the police showed up, they had to pull her aside. Her grief had quickly exploded into rage, she screamed until she was hoarse, and sobbed uncontrollably. They had to restrain her so the EMT's could get to work on Becky, but Michelle knew she was already gone.
It all faded to black, she couldn't hear anything around her. Her whole world just collapsed that night, she was in utter shock and absolute pain. The police were talking to her, she barely remembered that: or when a friend picked her up that night. She just kept caressing the box in her purse to keep herself grounded. There was a beautiful ring inside, she was going to ask Becky to marry her later that night.
Ever since her death, Michelle had spent a lot of time trying to make sense of it all. Rabbi's, monks, tarot card readers, priest's. She tried to find answers in so many places, by talking to so many people from so many backgrounds. But the counseling had helped her the most, to help her find hope again.
And a priest, Father Smith made it very clear for her. He was a close friend of Janet's family. Janet was a cheerful and adorable blonde that always tried to make Michelle smile, every day at work. Michelle would miss her dearly.
Father Smith never judged Michelle for her 'alternative lifestyle', he just patiently listened as she talked about her grief: about how much she loved and missed Becky.
At last he said: "Ultimately, I think Becky would want you to be happy. If you think you would be happier in Florida, then you should go. Sadly, she is gone, but you're still young and you have so much to live for. You might believe you'll never find love again, but I believe miracles happen everyday. You have a sincere heart, and a good soul. Michelle, you deserve to give yourself another chance in life."
She felt a hint of guilt at leaving the graveyard, but she had to. The person that had stood there at Becky's funeral was gone, she had been transformed by the experience. And by staying in that city, she was simply clinging to the past. She had so many happy memories with Becky there, but she was determined to make new ones in Florida.
"I promised myself I wouldn't cry. But I love you." She grabbed a tissue from her pocket and wiped her cheeks. "I'll find you again, in the next life. Or the one after that."
She thought of the most precious gifts Becky had given her: her time and her unconditional acceptance. They had met when Michelle was 24, and they were together for over two years. "Years of happiness may be more than most people ever experience. Thank you for that, my love." She placed the small wooden box next to the gravestone. The engagement ring was in there along with a locket of her hair.
She had held onto that ring ever since that terrible night. A few years ago, she had lost her job and was short on cash. She was tempted to sell it for a big payout, but she couldn't go through with it. So she waited to leave it where it belonged, with Becky before she left Oklahoma.
She stood there awhile, listening to the birds singing in the trees and enjoyed feeling the warm sun on her face. Then she slowly turned and walked down the small hill to her U-Haul.
She plopped down in the driver's seat and looked in the mirror. "I'm 29 now, I've waited long enough," she muttered quietly, "it's time to move on."
************
The miles passed quietly as she headed south east along the interstate. She had plenty of time, so she planned on taking an extra day to finish her trip. Planning on driving about eight hours a day, she stopped in Birmingham, Alabama for the night. She spared no expense in getting a room at an upscale hotel, she wanted to make the trip memorable for her. To her, it represented a turning point in her life.
Leaving her truck, she walked into the lobby and elicited plenty of looks from both men and women who were gathered near the hotel's restaurant. Even with no make-up, and in jeans and a t-shirt, she looked gorgeous.
A while later, she was standing in the bathroom of her hotel room by the mirror. Pulling her shirt and bra off, she rubbed her breasts to soothe them. She had trouble finding bras that were both supportive and comfortable, the underwires sometimes made her tender. For a long pause, she looked deep into her own eyes. Her eyes were big, brown and expressive with long lashes. Her mouth had firm, naturally pink lips that complimented her alabaster skin. She had her darıca escort mother's narrow nose and prominent cheekbones.
Her hands caressed her nipples a bit, causing her eyes to flutter. Her firm and large breasts always tingled under Becky's touch, making her shudder with the memory. She slowly caressed her sides and suddenly felt a tinge of loneliness.
'I wonder if anyone will ever touch me the way she did.' She wondered. 'Her touch could just instantly melt me, I was putty in her delicate hands.'
She ran her hands through her hair and slowly over her thick lips. That urgent hunger stirred deep inside her once again, that need for sexual contact. The heat was rising inside her, it was quickly becoming overwhelming. Stripping down to her panties, she turned the shower on. Happy with the water's temperature, she got in and washed herself off. She started to bring herself to orgasm until she finally exploded with a powerful climax that made her whole body shudder.
She soon dried off and laid down in her towel, the bed was soft and welcoming to her tired body. She laid there for a few minutes until she sat up and pulled the towels off. Laying there naked she felt her eyelids feeling heavy, but also hoped she'd be able to sleep. Night is when the dreams would come, sometimes Becky was there. Sometimes she'd wake up missing her, but she was also grateful the nightmares had finally stopped.
Insomnia and horrible dreams had plagued her for at least a year after Becky's death. Reliving her death over and over again. Sometimes that drunk driver had turned into a wretched monster with green skin and big horns would sprout from his head. He just mocked her in a menacing, hollow voice as Becky was dying in Michelle's arms.
************
She remembered learning who that miserable bastard was, and she wanted to fucking end him. One fall afternoon, she almost went through with it. She had asked around and found out where was being escorted out of the courthouse after making a court appearance. Carrying a large combat knife she'd bought from a local store, she was going to kill him.
She saw an opening as he walked behind the deputy, and he happened to turn and look at her. In that moment she saw a broken and lost soul, not a truly evil man. He seemed to recognize her from the courtroom, and he stared at her in surprise. He was astonished when he saw murder in her eyes, and he froze in fear just waiting to see what she'd do next.
She was ready to close the distance and stab him, but she turned and ran. That one moment changed her life forever. If she'd stabbed him, she would have been jailed for a long time, so she fled. She ran and ran until the tears kept flowing profusely, then she reached a bridge and vomited from all the stress and the adrenaline dump. She felt like an anxious bundle of nerves and frustrated anger. Tossing the knife into the river, she sat down and tried to calm herself. She sat there and lost track of time while crying, all of her heart-break came out.
"Miss, miss are you Okay?" An angel looked down at her, making Michelle think she was dreaming. A middle-aged, affluent woman was standing next to her. Her brow was creased with worry upon seeing Michelle's obvious distress. She was dressed in designer clothes and carried a coach bag, her blonde hair was flawlessly styled and she smelled sweetly of roses. She removed her sunglasses and looked at her with deep compassion. "Hey, can you hear me?"
"Umm..ye-yes I can hear you ma'am."
"Are you alright? I was walking on the opposite sidewalk when I saw you over here. You look like you've been crying."
"Umm...I-I just." Michelle stammered. "I wouldn't know where to start. It's just...it's been a really bad day."
"Then let's go somewhere and talk."
"Okay, why are you being so nice to me though?"
"Because no one else is here to help you, and I can tell that you need a friend right now. Besides, It just seems like the right thing to do." She stepped closer and reached out her hand. "I'm Gillian, and you are?"
"Michelle, it's nice to meet you, Gillian."
"Can I offer to buy you a coffee, or some lunch maybe?" Gillian reached in her purse and handed Michelle some tissues.
"Umm...yeah. I mean, if you want to. That'd be nice." Michelle slowly stood up.
"I know a great place just a short distance from here, " Gillian said with a friendly smile, "walk with me over there?"
"Okay, lead the way please."
Michelle followed with her head down, everything felt surreal to her in that moment. Between almost committing murder and now meeting Gillan, her life had taken an unexpected turn once again. And on that day fate intervened, Gillian helped pull her out of an abyss of despair and helped direct her away from a broken future.
They walked into a small cafe and Gillian led her to a table, she sat down across from her. Michelle ordered a turkey sandwich with coffee. She looked around datça escort a bit at the establishment before commenting on it.
"This is a very nice place, I really like the design work. Do you come here often?" In her discomfort, she was attempting to make small talk.
"Yes, I do. I come here for business meetings with clients. But, please tell me: why were you crying on that bench when I spotted you?"
"It's-it's a very long story. And a very personal one."
"I understand, " Gillian reached across the table and gently caressed her hand, "it's okay though. Your secrets are safe with me."
"Okay." Michelle let out a long, heavy sigh. "I'll tell you."
They sat there a long time while Michelle told her everything. She told Gillian about her life, about meeting Becky and how that changed everything for her. The love that they shared, and all the wonderful things Becky did for her. The day that she picked out Becky's engagement ring in secret, and the night she was going to propose. Gillian heard the heart break resonating in her voice as Michelle recalled the drunk driver smashing into Becky that night, so they both started to cry together.
Gillian offered loving words of comfort the best she could. She could feel a pain deep in her soul upon seeing Michelle's face, the way her voice was laced with sadness and personal tragedy. But there was something else, something didn't add up for her: after a long pause she asked about that day.
"I still don't understand something though. Why happened to you earlier today? Why were you crying on that bench?"
There was a long silence while Gillian gazed into her eyes with love and compassion. Michelle squirmed a little, she hesitated. "Okay, I guess I'll tell you. But you can't tell anyone else, ever! Do you promise?"
"Yes, of course I do. You can tell me anything dear, now please tell me."
"I umm...I almost-I almost hurt someone today." Michelle sobbed as her voice lowered, she watched Gillian gasp in surprise. "He-he ummm. He's the one that killed Becky, he was on trial today at the county courthouse. I...I waited outside for him, but then he looked right at me. I got scared so I ran until I was exhausted, and I stopped by the bridge when I felt sick."
Gillian then did something she did not expect. She got up and sat next to Michelle to wrap her arms around her in a loving embrace, Michelle just started crying to gain a sense of relief. "It's going to be okay." Gillian told her over and over again.
Eventually, Michelle looked up at her. "You don't think I'm a terrible person?"
"No my dear. I think you've been deeply wounded. Wanting revenge doesn't make you a terrible person, but it won't bring Becky back either. And that man has ruined his life with his terrible choices, there's no point in ruining your own life too."
"Yes, I suppose you're right. I just wish I knew what I should do now. I feel like I lack purpose in life."
"Please, let me help you. A good friend of mine is a counselor, I highly recommend her services."
"Really? You're so nice." Michelle smiled with sudden delight at her. "I think I'd like to try that, thank you."
"You should smile more often. You have such a beautiful smile," Gillian kissed her gently on the forehead, "and you're welcome."
"Suddenly, this all makes sense to me. If I hadn't ran to the bridge today, my life would be ruined. And I wouldn't be sitting here, talking to you."
"Yes, and something told me to walk today while enjoying the weather. I didn't take my usual route to get to the downtown restaurants. And that was how I found you, fate intervened for both of us today."
And so it was that Michelle spent time in counseling, working through her grief and trauma. Her platonic friendship with Gillian blossomed into something truly special. The next few years signified an improvement for her in many ways. And she would seek out spiritual guidance from varied sources as she processed her feelings and searched for purpose in life.
But eventually she also felt like it was time to leave, her father's sudden death was the catalyst for that. At the funeral she talked with her mother about it, Sarah invited her to move in if she wanted to.
She went back and talked to Gillian and others about it, knowing how much she'd miss all of them. Yet, the more time that passed, the more restless she felt. Then she had a dream one night, she was all alone wandering through a dark forest at night. A light suddenly appeared in the distance, bathing the woods in a warm glow. Out of the light she saw Becky come forth, Michelle ran to her and held her close.
"I love you Becky, I'll always love you forever."
"I love you too." Becky gazed into her eyes and kissed her passionately.
"I want to stay with you, please take me with you."
"I'm sorry, but you're dreaming. One day, you'll be with me again. But now you have to live for both of us, carry my memory with you. You have people waiting for you, but you won't find them here. You know where you need to go, what feels right to you. You'll find love again, and you have my blessing."
"Yes, I know what I must do. Thank you for your blessing." Her voice cracked with raw emotion. "And I'll carry you with me. I promise."